“daddy, i want to be an artist when i grow up”

“no dear child, you can’t be an artist
you won’t make any money and will struggle”

“but daddy, i love to paint
why can’t i make any money?”

“because artists are poor
haven’t you heard the term starving artist?”

“ok daddy, if that’s what you think is best
maybe i will do what you do”

“that’s my girl”

“i love you daddy”

its been a tedious day
after five classes
and an extra rehearsal
almost 200 students
full of energy that is hard to
tame.
thinking back
i dont remember it being this hard
things have changed
things are different now
the older teachers say it all the time
i remember it too

for a moment
i stand in the bathroom
just to breath
and stare at my reflection
the man in the mirror
looks foreign to the man inside my
head.

old
fat
bald
my face could never lie.
what happened to the
man i thought i would be?
i guess no one gets to be
happy at work
but i thought i would come
close.

darling please don't ever be afraid to feel
because feeling is beautiful
feeling is one of the most human things we could do
so, it's okay
it's okay to feel hurt, sadness, anger, happiness, loneliness, fear...feel everything
all I ask is that you don't sit there with the negative feelings
sit on the joy and happiness and let it fill you up and spill from your pores and gather at everything you touch
that is absolutely beautiful
and darling don't let the negative emotions sit with you
they can come and visit and be the rare guest, that's okay
to feel that is to be human
but to let it move in and be permanently attached is not something i suggest
because it won't spill out of your pores, it will consume
the hatred and hurt and anger, will just take everything from you
there are so many people in this world who have let the negativity consume them and they have become lost inside it
please be the rare butterfly that spills good
the world needs more people like that, darling
please always strive to be the good

Nothing is promised under the sun
For evil and misfortune can befall anyone
For no matter how secured one can feel
you can't protect the soul from death
the wise one or a fool
can't tell what tomorrow is about
And the Mights of the creator
we just revere in awe
for no one can comprehend it
worrying meaningless
As it can't add a single hour
In my unknown day's to live
Though the mind doesn't rest
Caring a lot triples the Dream's
And the nightmares of losing it
But everything's just meaningless
For there is nothing new in the world
And there lived the old
Who got back to eternity
Many of those we don't remember
So beautiful or not,  wise or not,
Wicked or not, poor or not,
We share the same destiny
Destiny that overtakes us all.

To one teacher we are little devils, little imps,
But to another we may be little cherubims.
As you see, my class has many a variety:
Mischievous, intellectuals, as well as the sleepy.
But this variety is what makes the world go round.
I do not like a class that is too sober and sound.
Seriousness does not make a mind care-free and easy;
Instead, too much seriousness can cause insanity.

I do not know why things happen as they do,
But I do know that people exist
To teach us only two lessons
Which we cannot learn elsewhere;
The ability to truly enjoy our lives,
Regardless of how insignificant they may be,
And how to weather the storm,
Left behind in their absence,
So that we may live to see them another day.

I see the students looking at me as I teach
I see their bored, dull faces
I see anxiety, and the deep, passionate boredom of angsty teens
I hear them behind me as I write on the board for them to learn

About Walt, about list-poems, and life, you see
They are whispering and think I do not hear

I saw a hand in darkness,
laid instructions in elegant expression.
Reach for the stars, grab the brightest and lay rest to the shining moon.
Cover your eyes for shadows will come to live.
Don't cry as the empty vessel is but a package of sorrow,
Smile at your ending fight.

Here I am, an Educator, new-formed
And on the verge of ideas and thoughts
That I’m told are too lofty, too grand, for their
Purposes of having students graduate at Funding’s Earliest
Convenience. Administrative charms
Have already told me not to display
Myself and my passions with honesty. I must teach
Like I am greater than them,
Like I approach our stories each
Day with a very very serious
Focus on structure and style and each
Incredibly important
Comma. But I know the Truth.
The Truth is that the richest
I’ve ever felt was when my educational harvest
Had received its lowest return. I first thought, “How shall
I punish? How shall I repay
Your bad behavior's damage with more damage? Your
Misbehavior doesn’t deserve my toil;
Your disrespect was just as bad as their
Records said it would be!” But then my reason
For anger crumbled, and I let love strengthen
My tired and trodden heart, as
I decided to speak to my students with the honesty their
Lives often lack from authority. Intentionality, Honesty, Truth. No amount of years
Will change what I’ve learned in Year Zero: to let love increase.