I wish I could describe the feeling
of being high and happy one day,
and then lonely and unmotivated the next.
The truth is I'm just confused with my life right now.
It seems these days my feelings change like the seasons.
How many more sunsets do I have to watch
before I finally pull back and feel whole?
I used to wish for the days of living in my own apartment.
Never did I think I would get this lonely.
I used to wish for the days of moving to a different city with my friends.
Never did I think they would leave and it would just be me.
There are days where I am inspired,
and you can see me dancing in the sunlight.
Riding this high as far as I can.
It took me a while to realize that my life is no sitcom.
My years as a young adult
aren't playing out how I thought they would be.  
No, they are not like the ones you see on TV.
Forgive me if I sound dramatic,
but this is not the state I thought I would be in
when I was 16 and full of hope.

Today would off been four year of marriage.
But today i decided to celebrate being single.
My husband was horrid, a person who used me.
He broke my heart, my soul and me as a person.
For three years, I was working thought it, a way to move on.
I was scared, unsure and didn't know what to do.
I miss him, I miss his laugh, I miss his smile, I miss him as my best friend.
My he left me alone and deserted, he lied, cheated and broke me.
Today I moved on. I chose to change my view and my life.

You are nobody, you mean nothing.
The person you are today, is someone I don't know.
I loved you. I gave you everything.
You broke me, you broke my heart.
Today you no longer control me.

A single shot to the head
Bam
All it takes to be dead

Here, now, summer is synonymous with loneliness,
Scorching heat with empty houses and empty driveways.

In a few hours, your room with a future lost
Out of my own free will,
And the beach we used to frequent will be synonymous with the ghosts of hope and a lover scorned.

I called my uncle today and I almost cried.
His voice is synonymous with love unconditional and pure,
As he half-jokingly admits that he loves me more than my siblings
Because
When I was young and sat on his shoulders and drooled on his hair,
I was synonymous with daughter years before he had his own.

As I text my friends, snort at their jokes and cringe at their mistakes,
I wonder
What am I synonymous with?