you wanted to kiss me
i just wanted to kiss
i feel guilty, but not enough i guess
i keep kissing
and you keep kissing me

Ronnie our biggest pup
hates car journeys
making her throw up
I hoped it was something
she would get used to
but my daughter said
perhaps its because
she associates it with
the last time she ever saw her mother
I never thought of that

I have built this temple
I have mounted this throne
made myself ruler
of a cold empty world
passed my own laws
that I flout everyday
for mine is the glory
of my special way
I have been left deprived
of love and affection
now I give myself
everything never left wanting
you can enter this realm
maybe sit yourself down
I need someone to polish
my oversized crown

hyacinthus, i am selfish
everyone already knows that
i would sacrifice the world for you
and not once consider turning back

the flowers you weaved into wreaths when
we were two boys in love with each other
they sat like crowns upon our heads
we were just two kings in a field of flowers

aphrodite warned me what was written in stone
that my father had given only one throne
she warned me that it could never fit two kings
but when my gaze landed on you, i disagreed

for you, i would have offered my throne
for you, i would have traded my crown
for you, i would have sacrificed the world
for you by my side, i would have let it all burn down

but for you, hyacinthus,
i will also learn to be selfless
i will listen to your soft, dying words
and upon river styx, i will promise:

i will not tear the world apart
to have you by my side again
i will be bitter, i will be vengeful
but i will not act upon my vengeance

for the sake of this undeserving world
for my love towards you, i will be selfless
for the sake of your dying wish, hyacinthus,
i will swear, i will promise:

i will let you go softly,
i will not be selfish,
i will let you go gently, my love—
gently, but not unnoticed

It was so long ago
Six years can come and go
I wonder if I can still say,
“Hate to say I told you so.”

Now I’ve fallen so low
I wonder if it still applies
How evil you were in my eyes...
The wickedness of your lies...

You had made promises, but they weren’t kept
Yet you maintained all your self-respect
When forgave all the wrong you had done
You never offered any real apology
You replied instead,
“Girls just want to have fun.”

...Shallow you were
...Shameless you remain
And I can't live my life that way
This aged memory
Serves to remind me
That people we really love
Should not be enjoyed selfishly
You didn't comfort me during my sorrows
Didn't help keep our relationship stable
Like a sponge, you laid passively
Absorbing the good I offered selflessly
Others may squeeze to get something from you
But that is just something I cannot do.

You chose to live a loveless life
How could you have made a good wife?
But a life of holding yourself dear
Is the kind which I must always fear

Master of Arts
The soul of mine, I cannot find!
I’m lost in the ocean, amongst crashing waves — I’m almost blind!
Mastering of Arts, I beg of you — let the fates be kind

I have been good, haven’t I?
I’ve fed my body well and kept my healthy veins —
... my mistake was that I hadn’t fed another
anything but grains —
But, I don’t understand? I too am a man!
with needs of my own, and I support a wealthy land!
I have wives that lay by me, I feed them well with my hand
Is that not enough for you master? Sight o’foreseeable! What comes of me now? too lay like a fish? I hope that comes by faster!

The waves ripple,
the water crashing by at my feet
I scatter away, frightened by the coming dribble
The sky was turning dark — an upcoming storm was to pass by, I had no shelter and nothing here to eat

My stomach growled, too loud of a sound
It had been awhile since it’d done that, I was always kept satisfied
Now, nothing’s here — not fishes nor ground
The sky roared, electrified
The storm was approaching too soon!
No blues, No light loomed
Overhead. Only the thundering boom.

Too much to bear! Too much too weigh!
Oh Master of Arts!
I’m sorry I hadn’t looked down the lanes!
I saw them too, Ah! They had been too frail and somber!
Starving all day!

Forgive me, Master! I won’t make another...
the seas are crashing courses with their waves,
Stronger each time, “I don’t have all day to be saved!”
But lightning struck, and I swore to keep my place in line
now isn’t the time to be a swine!

Selfishness is another seed to be taken, enough to make you blind
Master of Arts
I swear to you,
I’ll pay more mind
to the frail, aching bodies of the souls
in need
I have enough — I swear it! — to feed!

Master of Arts,
Let the fates be kind..
I swear I have changed, my mind, my acts, my scroll
Amidst all
I have realized
My role

I know that when I’m gone
you will mock me for my selfishness
for taking my life away from you
but please know,
that I lived my life bound by selflessness
I lived to serve and please
I recited my poems in rehearsal
so my last words could comfort you
and you’d never feel to do the same as I
I scar my flesh to bear my cross
So you may never have to.
Please know,
I lived every day confined by others needs
I listened to your woes
I starve my body to bear your cross
So you may never have to.
Know that this last act I take isn’t selfish
That my last act is one of freedom
It will be my only act of self-indulgence
in my life of catering you.