high octane whippets
bring me closer to sin
lied about remorse
it’s hard to break
to cement my place in hell
thrones made within myself
mindful thoughts of decadence
barren lies the boy
filled with tar and hate
selfish ingrate
no longer a problem
his death left no mark
condescending little ****
stands here his grave

You know John Locke thought that it was human nature
     to do what is in our own best interest.

I don’t think he was right,
   but I think
          he was right
                   about you.

Time,
a valuable currency.
Mine,
seemingly yours to steal.

Robbed me of my riches
Poured my money down

the drain. Still you could not
Spend a penny
for my thoughts.

i wish i had known how to hold on
to good things while they lasted
and appreciate them for what they were

but alas, i am a coward
a selfish coward who never learned
that the weight of my words

was just as painful as the blow of a fist
and the spark in your eyes
were drowned out by the fires in my mind

my insecurities and paranoia
drove even the kindest away
this was why the good never stayed with me

                         shakespeare spoke the truth
                         the fault had never been in the stars
                         but in my own self

we kissed once in the backseat
of a dull yellow taxi with
love in our suitcases and mouths

then, another in the backstreets of brooklyn
as the boys hooted at us and whistled
hollering under their hoops

"****, y'all lookin' fine"
and we raised our middle fingers
like it was a salute to the gods

i know this is overused
it feels like just yesterday but
years have passed in a blink

perhaps i am just selfish
but i have yet to move on
i still cannot ride a taxi alone

hope sits silently and oh, how it watches
silently from the seat across from me
clinging to what is left of me

I

I hear nothing from you
No just a text to say hi
Or even a how you doing ?
But then ....***.....
That's all
So you think
that will get me to respond
Sorry ....
I spent 7 yrs lovin' you
Still do
Sorry ....
I'm to expensive
You can't afford me
I need a how r you
A thinking about you
At least once in awhile
Cause , I'm worth it
So go *** yourself
Sorry.....
© J DeLong 2/3/21

the little fragments of our memories
fills me up as its hard to miss.

the silent confirmation only we can understand;
reminds me of how you hold my hand.

when we meet eye to eye,
its like looking at the wide blue sky.

how you utter with such softness
makes my heart speak though it cannot express.

however a clandestine should not last;
it must always stay in the past.

a secret like this should go astray
for it will perish as it's fey.

nevertheless, I'll still cherish
every moments even if I have to be selfish.