if i was a better friend
I’d have hung up my hat long ago
but my selfishness has taken over
and i know that you know
that we’re better together
and no good apart
so im going to hold you as close as i can
until i break your heart

it seems
the blue lights
drift ghostly
past the windows
more often
these days
each occasion
bringing with it
a momentary
fleeting interest
in where
the drama is
currently residing
at who's pillow
might be
tear-stained
through the night
at who's door
fear and anxiety
are being permitted
to step inside
at who's house
has become
a closed film set
waiting to be
stripped of content
until only
walls doors windows
and memories
remain
but
as commercials end
attention returns
once more
to a stronger
more constant
source of
blue light
and all present
are thankful that
at least
the banshees
that wailing of sirens
has been silenced
in time

"I'm being selfish anyway"

"So am I"

"I conciously know it, but will keep asking.
Will you change your mind?"

"My mind  keeps changing"

...

In a different life,
I would have waited,
Without the means to know,
To know of life or death,
To know of your happiness,
To know of your struggles!

Not in this life though,
Where you got swayed,
All the means at your end,
Never did you ask once,
How did I survive this world,
Where you left me alone,
So very alone?

Does crying out
in a blank world
make me selfish

Selfish to want someone
just so they can hear
my screams

I'm sorry I'm not a degenerate like you
But that's not my fault
But in your own warped minds
Filth

F Minus

Privilege child
Actions foul
***** lifestyle
Poor decisions made as he smiles

Black home
Friends gone
Parents tired
Of him using folks, then disowns

Choices bad
Women mad
Memphis child
Lost the trust that he had

Spending cash
$100 stacks
Behavior uncontrolled
Finance is where his knowledge lacks

Lack of care
Pulling back each layer
The pain he hides
Someone come send a prayer

Man-child is grown
Leaving a trail of loans
Selfish son
Refuse to pay back what he owes

Stays equip
Snorting strips
High all the time
On cloud 9 taking another trip

~
Cold cold heart
Frozen plumage
Like a peacock
Her ladyship
In the campfire light
Skating about the pond
Of her own vanity
~