When life is out of order and things just don't make sense
When I'm left out in the dark and the cold and I'm in suspense
Everywhere I turn I am closed in by walls on every side
There is nowhere I can run and nowhere I can hide
If life was a car, I'd be careening out of control
If life was a gamble, I'd have one foot in the hole
When my life is chaos and disorder
Of sanity and insanity, I'm hanging on the border
I would be lost if I didn't know who was in command
I would be lost if I didn't recognize the good that He had planned
So, Jesus, take the wheel and turn this car around
Take my feet and place them back on solid ground
I know I should trust you: this has happened before
But doubt creeps in and I hold back, afraid once more
I like feeling like I'm in control even though I'm not
It terrifies me that, for certain things, I have blind spots
I want to channel this love inside, but I go about it all wrong
It leaves me feeling emptier, it never satisfies for long
I won't find the answer where I've been looking until now
I'll only find the answer when I finally allow
You to take control over me entirely
To give you all I am and have and ask you to take over
To fill me with the joy, the passion, the pleasure
Help me live a life in purity and truth
Until the day you say here is the one I made for you
Jesus, command my thoughts, conform my will
Satisfy me daily so I can have my fill
Take me past my blindness so I can more clearly see
How perfect your plan and how great your love for me
When I give up my control and truly surrender
I am freed from the grip of that wily pretender
I call upon your grace and strength as I struggle day by day
To walk with you in faithfulness and let you lead the way

Shades of yellow cast on our dreams
Skin burning through layers of sunscreen
When gifts of foresight weigh on our beings
Let great powers grow evermore carefree

To satisfy eternity.

Empirical evidence against the empire’s truth
Makes humankind akin to a neurotic fool
Who comes to think that it’ll always nullify
Oh for we all must die!

Young and old both playing their games
Seduced by the baits of short-term gains
Unable to afford the bail out of prison
Wait for great powers to relieve this addiction

To satisfy eternity.

Spawns of decadence in the wake of our new tools
Let us deter suicide with the poisons that soothe
They all say everything will fall, to act seems futile
Oh for we all shall die!

Whether in shame or in desire
Must we forget all we’ve acquired
For yesterday’s pride, tomorrow’s glory
Shake hands with friends and slain the enemy

To satisfy eternity.

I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be satisfied in my life time
But until then
I will keep writing

You'd think I'd have more to say
2 years and I still find a way
To bite my tongue and still feel numb
But yet, I've become a pawn.

I stuck myself to your word
Like a struggling flightless bird
And I make excuses for all my muses
But maybe, I've broken a mirror.

Maybe I've truly been cursed
Then wouldn't it be worse?
You've clung to me while I've tried to flee
But I feel nothing but regret.

You've always callsd me a nuisance
And I still choke on your nooses
Constantly on edge while you're by the ledge
But you're living in your own shadow...

Beauty, i've realized, is not confined to one singular moment
Nor one singular place.
Not one precious moment in time but perhaps a web of them.
It's intrinsic to nature.
Confounded through and possibly limited by the dullness of people.
We need too much.
We desire emptily.
We set definitions leaving little space for the outlier.
But beauty, in its purest form, is the outlier--a great composition of them.
For what we set our eyes forth to blatantly, routinely, and  mundanely is often the most beautiful, masked by our innate desire for novelty.

Would you like it if I cried?
Would that make it more real to you?
Would you like it if I died?
Would that make my feelings true?

Would you make me go and hide?
Would that finally impress you?
Would you eat up all my pride?
Would that satisfy you?

That's how you'd like it.
That's how you'd like it, isn't it?

That's how I'd like it.