I feel ashamed as the fire went out already.
It took so long for it to lit.
For a while it hasn't been that steady.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be fit.

For only a day and I'm already beat.
I don't sleep very well.
I blame the the weather and the heat.
But I know it's not the reason I fell.

When I look in the mirror I am ashamed.
The extra that's still visible on me.
I want to be seen, be famed.
But what I see is not what I want to be.

Asleep and tired, from my own urge to be freed.
Empty inside, but it will be worth it, you'll see.
But I'm not stopping this until I see what I need.
Yet I miss the days my fire was easily lit by me.

You wandered through misery and silence
for half your lifetime,
feeling every change in the wind
and the pain of the world around.

You were lost and didn't want to be found.
There was no salvation within;
so you gave up on false idols
of joy and light.

Aching and broken, you closed your eyes.
The world disappeared,
your mind grew louder,
And you gave up.

Or so you thought.

You expected an end
and received a beginning.
I'll wait a lifetime for you to catch up
and meet the new you.

You'll be ok again.

I think back on the good times and the memories that we made.
And in my quiet moments those great times are all replayed.

I remember the laughter and tenderness of the time we shared.
briefly feeling less alone remembering that once you cared.

Of course there is a melancholy sadness in knowing it has passed.
But we built so many memories that the warmth of then will last.

Do you recall those moments when we shared intimacy and fun?
Or are they all your past and in memories, time made you none?

I think often of the passionate warmth, of you entwined with me.
And feel again the excitement of how those times could be.

Always with some loss, but too an overwhelming sense of pride.
When once you were my lover, our bodies laying side by side.

I keep selfishly those memories that you and I have made.
Musing, what I could have done, to ensure that time had stayed.

I think of you often now in that wider world out there.
To hope you keep one good memory as proof you once did care.

I may never wrap my head around
What it was about you
That could make me run full speed ahead into that dead end

Cold nights
Souls drifting
Hearts beating  
Dream chasing
Echoes of wolves speaking
My ears listen while my hearts skipping
Fear befriends my lonely soul
It holds me hostage
As I sleep with these wolves
I remember the touch of sheeps
In pain I dive deep
Giving sorrow my soul to keep
Seeing that love is as sharp as these wolves teeth

Can it be so long ago,
That which seems but moment past
When first I tasted of your lips,
And knew my lifelong love was cast?

Can it be so long ago,
That which seems but moment past?
Would that time would let us know
The now and then, the first, the last.

Can it be so long ago,
That which seems but moment past?
Would that I could dam the flow
But life, as water, runs too fast.

She's just sitting there
as a strong magnet
people come and go
home healed they say

She must be a saint
a new one, who is among us
She doesn't need anything, gives
everything right back again

People who give hope
receive hope, people full of love
get even more love
the disappointed leave

deeply disappointed and with their own anger
she knocks down aggressive visitors
Wishes and curses bounce off
her, so full of everything she is

a black star, a full void
where is no more space
complete gravity, visible
in everything that she strikes back