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Casey May 13
I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while but I got stuck on how I thought it should sound and look and read so i thought to myself “**** it” and decided to just write down exactly what i want to say.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to say what I feel, actually scratch that, all the time I don’t know how to say what I feel. I wanted to write this as a nice cute song but I got hung up on trying to make stuff rhyme and it’s not about it being good to anyone else I just crave approval so I know that I didn’t **** up. But enough about me.

This is for you and you know who you are and if you don’t, well then, if it resonates with you then it’s for you.

I don’t know how to describe how I feel love, but I know that I feel it.
It’s not something I can pin down with a word like other people can, how they say “exhilarating” and “selfless”.
It feels like a fluttering, an overwhelming joy, but at the same time it feels nothing like that, it feels like a cool breeze off the lake.
So, for me, the feeling of love is always changing.
But I can see it.
I can see how I love you when I look at pictures of us.
I can see my love when I feel my eyes crinkle and my cheeks ache from a smile.
Everyone around me has always tried to define my love for me, but my love is not like theirs because it is subtle and quiet.

I’ve been working on saying it out loud when I feel it.
If it’s ever changing for me, it must be confusing as hell to everyone else.
Because others have tried to identify what they think is my love based on what they think they know love to be.
It is not a universal feeling, I understand.
So, you may see a blank face sometimes, but I provide the clarity, and I say,

I love you.
Someone reading this gonna be like “**** this guy is defo on the asexual spectrum”
Casey Feb 25
I wanna write a song
I wanna tell the whole world something on my mind
Make it catchy and fun and rhyme
But I’m afraid I’d get it all wrong

I wanna write a song
And sing it for everyone to hear
But my voice isn’t that great and my uke sits unplayed
I’m sure nobody would sing along

Oh look what I’ve done
In spite of it all, in the height of it all
I’ve put the words on the page, I’ve won.
Despite the stupid insistence of my thoughts; so persistent
I’ve gone and wrote a song

I want to make someone proud
Not in the way they’ve told me they are
I want to see it on their face and be able to tell
Without them saying it aloud

I just wanna write a song
It doesn’t even have to make any sense (cents?)
I really wanna put something out there
And prove to myself what I’ve know all along

Oh look what I’ve done
In spite of it all, in the height of it all
I’ve put the words on the page, I’ve won.
Despite the stupid insistence of my thoughts; so persistent
I’ve gone and wrote a song

And I know it doesn’t seem like much but to me it’s a first
Here’s to all of the others who think everything they make is the worst
The first draft of my first song :) I'll probably edit this and repost a finished version when I get around to it.  Now to make a chord progression and a melody.....
Casey Oct 2021
Am I recovering or just distracted?
Casey Jul 2021
You don’t know what’s next, and that’s alright
You never really understood the idea of success
It is, in its nature, a self-defined word

You always thought you had to prove your worth
You felt the need to change something, and become noticed.
You wanted to be known.

I can only offer what I know so far.
You have to learn to validate yourself
Otherwise you will live your whole life trying to please other people.

I know that twisted wrist behind your back, I know that fake plastered smile,
I know the gritted teeth and the tired eyes.

Walk away.
I’ve always been a people pleaser and now in therapy I’m learning to finally put myself first. It’s weird and I’m defo not used to it but yeah.
Casey May 2021
"If you're a guy, why do you carry around a purse?"

I stare at her, hard.
My gender therapist, questioning me?

To carry my ****. Why else?
Don't impose these stereotypes on me.

my jeans don't have pockets.
okay,,,, first of all--*****
Casey Dec 2020
The sun still rises
The earth stills turns
Life still goes on,
but you’re not here.

I wish I took up your offer to go golfing, just once.

You would’ve let me win anyways.
You always did.

Rest well.
I lost my grandpa to covid.
Casey Nov 2020
It rains a little
It rains a little
It rains a little
Rain song
It rains a little

Cleanse the heart.
Cleanses the skin, cleanses and relieves pain.
"Very good. Too bad."

Sing a clear song
Hurt the lungs
If you want to change your name, humble yourself and know that you will not be insulted.
"Nobody believes you. You're lying."

Become a holy soul.
The dragon flew through the air.
By strong winds and terrible falls.
"What you see next is good.”

I can't sing on my own.
His voice turned green.
Heavy rains filled my heart
The sun is on
Honey, they took me to a beautiful place.
I have no idea what this is but it’s pretty in its own way
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