I think back on the good times and the memories that we made.
And in my quiet moments those great times are all replayed.

I remember the laughter and tenderness of the time we shared.
briefly feeling less alone remembering that once you cared.

Of course there is a melancholy sadness in knowing it has passed.
But we built so many memories that the warmth of then will last.

Do you recall those moments when we shared intimacy and fun?
Or are they all your past and in memories, time made you none?

I think often of the passionate warmth, of you entwined with me.
And feel again the excitement of how those times could be.

Always with some loss, but too an overwhelming sense of pride.
When once you were my lover, our bodies laying side by side.

I keep selfishly those memories that you and I have made.
Musing, what I could have done, to ensure that time had stayed.

I think of you often now in that wider world out there.
To hope you keep one good memory as proof you once did care.

I may never wrap my head around
What it was about you
That could make me run full speed ahead into that dead end

Cold nights
Souls drifting
Hearts beating  
Dream chasing
Echoes of wolves speaking
My ears listen while my hearts skipping
Fear befriends my lonely soul
It holds me hostage
As I sleep with these wolves
I remember the touch of sheeps
In pain I dive deep
Giving sorrow my soul to keep
Seeing that love is as sharp as these wolves teeth

Can it be so long ago,
That which seems but moment past
When first I tasted of your lips,
And knew my lifelong love was cast?

Can it be so long ago,
That which seems but moment past?
Would that time would let us know
The now and then, the first, the last.

Can it be so long ago,
That which seems but moment past?
Would that I could dam the flow
But life, as water, runs too fast.

She's just sitting there
as a strong magnet
people come and go
home healed they say

She must be a saint
a new one, who is among us
She doesn't need anything, gives
everything right back again

People who give hope
receive hope, people full of love
get even more love
the disappointed leave

deeply disappointed and with their own anger
she knocks down aggressive visitors
Wishes and curses bounce off
her, so full of everything she is

a black star, a full void
where is no more space
complete gravity, visible
in everything that she strikes back

I have a box
A nice cozy box
I try to make my way to the
But...I never make it
Out

That doesn’t matter
It’s still fun to try
To push my limits

But


Still in never out
I won’t go out
I. Can push
But I. Cannot
Go out

Because it’s warm and cozy in this box
I know what I can do,
I know,
The extent of my abilities

Why should,
I push through?

You’ll be regretting those words,
One day
She tells me

I don’t care


Fine,
But what if
Your protected world
Just
Disappears







Drip




Drop













Drip









...

looking back at my previous poems
published, deleted, drafts...
its become clear that i have forgotten part of my identity,
who i was before i left my poems in the dust.
observing the transformations in my words
reminds me of the words of my inner saboteur.

I remember the person who supported my writings,
my thoughts, my feelings...
someone on the other side
who wanted me not to succumb
but to compose and understand
why I felt such sorrow each day.

re-entering my world of poems,
the emotions i archived reflect
periods of my life.
One day i hope to recognize
the impact i made on myself
and the progress that has been achieved
throughout my year of words.

If I ever
get cold
and wield my
syllables
against
your hot
naivete,
it's
just because
you're intact.
Who am I
to
harden you?
It's
a problem.