Bad things happen to good people;
I know this all too well.
Life is a minefield;
be mindful of where you step,
else it'll be your last.
I have tried to view life differently.
I have tried countless times to be reborn.
Now, I have a new outlook on life;
a brand new perspective.
With the mighty pen and paper,
I can express myself.
As I wield this pen in my hand,
it has become clear to me.
Everything is starting to make sense.
So I will start with one thing:
Dear Future Me.....

and suddenly i can see them, colours
like i've been so oblivious to their existence before.
i notice the yellow rim around my towels
and the redness of my lips,
the shampoo bottle is actually blue
and my scrunchies reflect deep purple.
like my eyes and my soul have become desensitised to the beauty surrounding my life.
A life full of colour.
I don't want to merely exist anymore,
I am happy to be alive.

I will not run just overwhelm me
With the thoughts the thoughts the thoughts.
There’s a dark shadow underneath every bright surface.
Check and chase
Every nook and cranny
Track and trace
Every mistake and
Shove into my face the uncanny.

What’s this giddy feeling?
I hop, skip and prance because
Neurons are firing and I’m talking
To myself and reviewing what has just passed in such a quick speed that I cannot catch up.
Oh I know you’re not all so bad
And sometimes I need to learn so
I constantly look back to learn but
Don’t let the shadows make everything seem dark
And don’t let the light turn into an insignificant spark.
Give me the balance and the hope,
The humility that helps me to cope with the insecure anxieties and the ignorance of arrogance.

Yes but no
No but yes
What ifs and
Did you see the look in his eyes?
They said something to me
And they were quickly covered by a disguise.
Maybe, who knows?
Just do better
Next time.

A shifting plane of alternate realities

The waves in the ocean
The uncertainty of the collide

Peaceful for a few moments
Then back to the war of a lifetime

A maze of thoughts
That you try to outrun

A deep and thorough rot
Paralizying you
Keeping you in fear
Giving you glimpses of hope
Just for another wave to consume it

A day in the life
Of an overthinker.

It's been a year now.
I hope you're doing okay,
Wherever you are.

I am the cascade rain
of chivalrous knights
and bubbling veins.

The gap you mind
and overstep,
The mind that’s gapped
without repent.

Yet the lake reflects a smile
and bellows out broadly
in the broken streams of Nile
in the thoughts of this, a while.

If you look over the fence
And happen to see,
That your neighbours grass
Looks as green as can be,
Don’t find yourself full of envy
And wish it be gone,  
Instead, water and nurture the very grass
That you are standing on.

Mad, perplexed, or sleepy.
That's when I see me.
My body isn't an image of God, it's more like static on TV.
I am crime, in my prime.
About as rich as a dime.
It is forever mine.
I face darkness in the essence of my look.
No book can make me sparkle,
No knowledge can make me beautiful.

Criminal eyes turned kind.
Why is black and white not gray?
My brow tells me more about me than my eyes.
My soft chin reveals a thin film of true vision.
Like I'm choking on reality.
My lines mingle on my forehead.
Seeing my transgressions make me know who I am, that I am not what I imagine, but what I do.
All the thieving and vandalism truly made me fall from heaven.
Sins against property.

I'm saying "my goodness" when perplexity perfectly meets madness.
I teach myself to nevermind true sadness.
Sad is what I am when I'm searching for me in another man.
A man of good deeds outshines me.
He makes my weak structures safe.
He makes me fear of the kingdom in his eye.
But I didn't see him as a child.
He tried to fix something that he never could.
He doesn't realize that a true Self could be found in darkness.
Yet when compared to recent crimes, I'm as pure as 0.995.
I'll never be as original as old rhymes.
Words need vision behind them.
But I always see the same thing.
I see floaters in my eyes.
What matters is when I recognize me in every part.
I see the good in me and it can't be me.
I can only be my crime, my knowledge of mercy, or the fear of God.
Fear in His Name is not the same as fear of His Self.