Bad things happen to good people;
I know this all too well.
Life is a minefield;
be mindful of where you step,
else it'll be your last.
I have tried to view life differently.
I have tried countless times to be reborn.
Now, I have a new outlook on life;
a brand new perspective.
With the mighty pen and paper,
I can express myself.
As I wield this pen in my hand,
it has become clear to me.
Everything is starting to make sense.
So I will start with one thing:
Dear Future Me.....

and suddenly i can see them, colours
like i've been so oblivious to their existence before.
i notice the yellow rim around my towels
and the redness of my lips,
the shampoo bottle is actually blue
and my scrunchies reflect deep purple.
like my eyes and my soul have become desensitised to the beauty surrounding my life.
A life full of colour.
I don't want to merely exist anymore,
I am happy to be alive.

I will not run just overwhelm me
With the thoughts the thoughts the thoughts.
There’s a dark shadow underneath every bright surface.
Check and chase
Every nook and cranny
Track and trace
Every mistake and
Shove into my face the uncanny.

What’s this giddy feeling?
I hop, skip and prance because
Neurons are firing and I’m talking
To myself and reviewing what has just passed in such a quick speed that I cannot catch up.
Oh I know you’re not all so bad
And sometimes I need to learn so
I constantly look back to learn but
Don’t let the shadows make everything seem dark
And don’t let the light turn into an insignificant spark.
Give me the balance and the hope,
The humility that helps me to cope with the insecure anxieties and the ignorance of arrogance.

Yes but no
No but yes
What ifs and
Did you see the look in his eyes?
They said something to me
And they were quickly covered by a disguise.
Maybe, who knows?
Just do better
Next time.

A shifting plane of alternate realities

The waves in the ocean
The uncertainty of the collide

Peaceful for a few moments
Then back to the war of a lifetime

A maze of thoughts
That you try to outrun

A deep and thorough rot
Paralizying you
Keeping you in fear
Giving you glimpses of hope
Just for another wave to consume it

A day in the life
Of an overthinker.

It's been a year now.
I hope you're doing okay,
Wherever you are.

I am the cascade rain
of chivalrous knights
and bubbling veins.

The gap you mind
and overstep,
The mind that’s gapped
without repent.

Yet the lake reflects a smile
and bellows out broadly
in the broken streams of Nile
in the thoughts of this, a while.

If you look over the fence
And happen to see,
That your neighbours grass
Looks as green as can be,
Don’t find yourself full of envy
And wish it be gone,  
Instead, water and nurture the very grass
That you are standing on.

Mad, perplexed, or sleepy.
That's when I see me.
My body isn't an image of God, it's more like static on TV.
I am crime, in my prime.
About as rich as a dime.
It is forever mine.
I face darkness in the essence of my look.
No book can make me sparkle,
No knowledge can make me beautiful.

Criminal eyes turned kind.
Why is black and white not gray?
My brow tells me more about me than my eyes.
My soft chin reveals a thin film of true vision.
Like I'm choking on reality.
My lines mingle on my forehead.
Seeing my transgressions make me know who I am, that I am not what I imagine, but what I do.
All the thieving and vandalism truly made me fall from heaven.
Sins against property.

I'm saying "my goodness" when perplexity perfectly meets madness.
I teach myself to nevermind true sadness.
Sad is what I am when I'm searching for me in another man.
A man of good deeds outshines me.
He makes my weak structures safe.
He makes me fear of the kingdom in his eye.
But I didn't see him as a child.
He tried to fix something that he never could.
He doesn't realize that a true Self could be found in darkness.
Yet when compared to recent crimes, I'm as pure as 0.995.
I'll never be as original as old rhymes.
Words need vision behind them.
But I always see the same thing.
I see floaters in my eyes.
What matters is when I recognize me in every part.
I see the good in me and it can't be me.
I can only be my crime, my knowledge of mercy, or the fear of God.
Fear in His Name is not the same as fear of His Self.

𝘐𝘯 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵,
𝘚𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘴,
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴,
𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵.
𝘈 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴,
𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺,
𝘈 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥,
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘰𝘺,
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴,
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘥𝘢𝘻𝘦,
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩,
𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘺𝘴, 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴.
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘸,
𝘐𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭'𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘦?
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴,
𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘴,
𝘖𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯'𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥.

𝘈 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯,
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯,
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴,
𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵, 𝘐  𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.
𝘠𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐,
𝘛𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘈 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘺𝘦,
𝘓𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦,
𝘞𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘥𝘪𝘦.
𝘗𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦,
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴.
𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴, 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴,
𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘈𝘭𝘭!!
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵?
𝘕𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴,
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘹𝘺𝘨𝘦𝘯,
𝘈𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘩 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘴.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦,
𝘛𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥; 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭𝘴.

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴?
𝘎𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘺.
𝘈𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘴,
𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢.

𝘈 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴,
𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦,
𝘈 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥,
𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺,
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺… .