a chunk of time that i can't reminisce
for it takes me back to that precipice
a trapeze act without a net
a balance born between hope and regret

the truth of the matter, the one you can't conceal
an empty mind may wander and reel
so in time i hope, sans focus
my mind only wanders along a positive locus

The pain was too hard to take and I lost my way
For the only outcome I want, that I ever wanted, is the refurbishment of the foundations of our relationship
A renovation of our house of love
Where the sun shines in every morning and warms our souls as they are intertwined
And the walls don't give in after the inevitable first rains of tomorrow's tears
Instead, after every rainfall, we re-secure the foundations together
Finding the cracks in the walls, floors and doors and filling it with the glue of our bond
I want this house more than any other
I just hope the foundations don't fall while I'm stuck below
Trying to repair the damage that I allowed to set in
Because I had no clue what I was doing

The ground threatens to swallow me, it trembles and it shakes. You can't run from shadows, or amend all your life mistakes.

I've always thought the floor was glass, knew one day that it would shatter. Head held high all my life, even though I never matter.

It's a struggle just to stand, always on uneven ground. Life was better for a moment, back when he was around.

Now is when it falls apart, my lungs forget to breathe. But I've been though loss before, and learned sorrow will ever leave.

I refuse to admit defeat, but this world falls apart. Earthquakes ruin all I've made, and leave this black hole I call a heart.

Soon I will be alone.
In my own little cave
I can hide and be regrown;
my own soul I will save.
I will seclude myself from all;
from disappointment, pain, hate
and live behind my wall,
until I've learned to appreciate.
All I want is to be happy,
but, it seems the world is all sad,
I can't help but breathe empathy,
so I am prevented from being glad.
To add to that, I am toxic,
and all I touch turns to dust
until I learn to focus,
I will continue to lose trust.
I must learn to deal with this,
then attempt the world anew.
I need to learn to channel bliss,
then I can rejoin all of you.

They tore into me
Now I rip myself apart
Put myself back together
Pieces are missing
*No one will know

In one gesture,
a simple motion
you reaching for me,
a millisecond.
Everything I was
fighting to hold in,
came pouring out.
Each cracked piece
of me broke apart,
all I was looking
for was found
in that moment
and lost again
as soon as it was over.

Somehow you’re always  
everything I need
and nothing that I want.
At least I know
I’m not the only one
asking about you.

If just your fingertips
can rattle my bones,
imagine what your
whole body could do.

I’ll just continue not to notice
this power you have over me,  
letting it break down into pieces
so I can rebuild not to need you,
only want you. I won’t let you win, this time.

I want to get out
if I get woken up by the screams of my mother,
drunk or hungover
one more time,
I'm going to lose my ******* mind!
It's the same thing at 3 A.M, and in the morning
I've got some real ****** friends
She stopped talking to me over the summer
and they all let me fall into feeling worthless
Now they're back in my life, and I could not care less about them
My friends, they're real winners!
They'll **** the love and energy right out of me,
make me feel horrible any time I say what I feel
Like I don't matter? Like I shouldn't be there at all!?
I used to be left behind, but now I drive everyone around.
I had some time to think about how my family could go broke,
but here we are, driving a bunch of ungrateful kids around,
and for what in return?! I get their company?
Ha. Like that's worth anything.
I'm just so tired of this town.
Full of people who will break you,
There's really only one person worth staying here for.
Nope, it's not my best friend.
I'm just so tired of false security.
I want to get out
and
rebuild myself
Oh but I'm much too young,
much too tired from the chaos

I hope you hate me as much as I do
Maybe that's why I go through what I go through
The decisions I make
And the chances I take
All excuses to push away
The love that I want to stay
But I am undeserving
My fear is unnerving
I desire to build
But I only destroy
My dreams are all killed
By my own selfish ploy

your heart breaks in two
mine is crushed by its pieces
let's start rebuilding