Good food that leaves a bad taste in the back of your mouth, even worse, people who leave a bad taste in the back of your mouth. When someone over stays their welcome. When people ask about your problems only so you’ll ask about theirs, forcing you to care for them. Not having the space you deserve. Unsaid thoughts that can be read on faces.
Placing your self-worth and validation outside of yourself, especially in another heartbeat that can wrap its’ first around it and run, forcing you to follow. When a person knows they are going to leave you, but still ask you to stay because they need you for now. Showing someone your scars only to have them lie about their own.
When your boyfriend says he loves you for the first time while intoxicated, not on you, and takes it back when sober. Telling him you love when he wears his glasses, and he still always wears contacts. Helplessly watching the hourglass of us run out. When he leaves you, who he would not even utter the names of his parents or his birthplace, for someone who shares his tongue. Yet, he will not say her name to you in hopes that that makes it okay.
Kissing someone and knowing it is the last time. Begging someone to stay, even though you know you’re better than that. Pity kisses planted on foreheads. Empty promises, like saying they will keep in touch or visit, but you know they are just too weak to accept that this is the last time.
All the ways in which a person can leave you, and they will because if they leave you, you cannot leave them. Time wasted on waiting for someone to come home when the time could have been spent moving. The concept of time. Manipulation. Having to say goodbye. Being asked about the person who left you. Not loving yourself. When someone finally treats you right, and it bores you.
I wrote this for my Literature in a Global Context class, we were prompted to model a poem after Sei Shonagon's The Pillowbook