Death is a necessary friend we all must embrace.
It will come suddenly like a robber in the night.
No one is immune to it.
Do not forget this!

Love is a lot of things:

A feeling.
A passion.
A choice.
A revolution.
A voice.
A creation.
A language.
An action.
A sacrifice.
An interaction.
A crime.
An abstraction.
A blessing.
An affirmation.
A life.

And, it's just one word.
Imagine what we could do with a thousand more.

My laptop reads 13%
And oddly enough I relate to that
It’s a staple of our generation to relate to others obscure references.
With agreements such as “same” being used to reference themselves to a cup lying on the side of the road.
I don’t quite understand and yet I find myself relating to these obscurities rather frequently.
I’m stuck.  
Truly a dead end of the creative kind.
And sincerely it’s been literal months since I’ve created something I’m even mildly okay with.
Why? Is it because I’m depressed?
Is it because I am empty inside?
What can I find to blame my inactiveness on this time?
There are so many things I want to do.
I want to sing
I want to act
I want to fall in love
I want to make videos
I want to lose 30 pounds
I want to travel the world.
I want to come out to my family
I want to die but usually only at night, which is an improvement
I want be a lawyer, a doctor, a writer, a zoologist, an actor.
There are multitudes of things that I want, enough to fill up all of the oceans. Simultaneously
There is one that is noticeably more prominent than others and that is that
I want to be happy.
And yet here I am it’s 3 am and I’m nothing but empty
And even now, more than ever now, I need to have a voice.
I don’t want to be heard I need to be. But the words they just don’t come like they used to.
How am I supposed to pursue my dreams if I can’t even take a shower?
I’m falling. Again.
Life is messy. Life is a ******* **** show.
I’m trying to make the most of it. And honestly, it’s ******* difficult.
I want to write. I say that about every three hours and yet nothing.
More than anything, I want to live lives other than my own,
Not because of self-hatred but because of my desire to explore and to experience.
I want to fall in love with characters who help me to love myself.
I want to be more than a 16-year-old typing her life away hoping, praying to live other lives.
And just because I don’t know how to get there right now.
Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying.
I want to live for myself, I want to stop apologizing and go for what I want.
My laptop reads 2% and as it is powering off so am I.
I’m going to sleep in hopes of inspiration striking me while I’m floating between consciousness.
It’s unreasonable to ask for. But please.
I miss creating. I just want to live.
I just want to be happy.

Why do I put myself in a position to be attached at all?
I  have only set myself up to heights I cannot survive the fall.
Why am I the only one trying to break down your walls?
I have only been moving from one connection to the other.
Why can't I be alone, instead of someone's lover?

You're like a record.
Play one side,
and you think you know the whole tune,
but flip it once
and it's all brand new.

It's only fitting that people be music,
since life is a dance
we must all learn the moves to.

Innocent girl
You have no hate in your heart
You only see the best
In people

Innocent girl
Precious in all that you are
You deserve the wholesome things
So little

You have to understand
How the world is imperfect
And no boy or any man
Should make you feel less worth it

Pretty little girl
Let no one challenge your art
It’s unique in every purpose,
It’s fragile

Pretty little girl
Talented, careful, and smart
Keep that steadfast, selfless love,
It’s valuable

Please take a seat
In the back of my head
Stop hijacking my thoughts
And wishing me dead

Hand over the reins
I'll take it from here
You will self destruct
And you're insincere

I look to the future
I welcome the new
You served no purpose
And I am stronger than you

Do you know what I think about when I see a single butterfly flying in the air?

No, you’re wrong, I don’t think of you. I think of how that butterfly keeps flying in the air, landing on flowers, leaves and trees while being all alone. With what purpose does this mere butterfly have and why does it keep flying around in such a majestic way.
I guess I think of myself. I too like the butterfly am constantly flying around with no purpose yet I continue looking majestic as I land on some flower.

BUT, when I see two butterflies flying together, I think of you and I, and that for a moment in time, I was not alone. That I found someone I could ‘fly around with majestically’ while still having no purpose. But you flew away and left me on some flower.
So now when I look at two butterflies flying together, I also see that there’s a chance to find someone else that will join me in my (no purpose) life’s adventures.