I dont wanna sleep
I don't want to hear a peep
Counting sheep but it doesnt help
You would never understand how i feel or have felt
Pelted from knowledge
My brain keeps insanely pulsing
Yet its mainly focused on dreams
Opened my eyes a couple months ago
I saw all the lies average people are fed .. i lay in bed thinking of a plan !¡ I dont want to be rich or famous i want to be the man

Is it a coincidence?
I think not.
It's not just one of those serendipitous happenings where both times we meet are budding from me ******* up.

I may be staring intently at something that isn't there
but I believe it's a sign just as much as the one you always ignored at the intersection.

Me ******* up equals me seeing you.

It's not a perfect formula but I'm still working out the kinks
God, you know how I love math
I'm probably just grasping at something and anything that means I can be with you for just one more instant

I know you see what I'm doing here
And I thank you for playing along
Do whatever you will
Just don't correct me when I'm wrong

I'm trying to **** up

7pm:** it's one of those nights
8pm: watch tv
9pm: keep distracted
10pm: plan for tomorrow
11pm: go to bed
12pm: wake up and try to read until I fall asleep
1am: remember your charming smile and the way you run your fingers through your hair.
2am: flip angrily through the pages that I skim over because for some reason I strongly believe that a book on love will help me get over you
3am: think about why you don't and never did love me
4am: count the hours until I have to get up and blame you for keeping me awake.
5am: you used to keep me awake for things like talking about our futures and now I'm left here with half an empty bed wondering why your future doesn't involve me
6am: wake up tired from my 15 minute sleep and wonder how even on the darkest nights the sun still manages to rise
7am: I'm drinking coffee out of a cup that used to touch your lips every morning, like me, and I know you won't be back for either of us

"plan a" was to be cordial:
you said, "coexist."
we toasted with our cappuccinos,
"to coexisting," before replacing our masks.
smile. wave. be polite.
I suppose some dozen missteps by me rendered this plan
useless.

"plan b" is much harder.
put your hand on the table.
the knife comes down, quick,
press the hot metal to the wound.

amputate. cauterize.
use your friends as a tourniquet,
like the one I've been twisting you into for the last year
and a half.