Everything was going according to plan
Highschool. Pre-Med. Med. Specialization.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think
That you would add up to this equation
Never did I think that things would end up
Like how it is at this moment.
You never were meant for this equation
And yet, you fit in so perfectly
I was expecting nothing, and yet.. You
Never did I think that you, once a variable, would become a constant. That you would succeed euler's number or the symbol for radians, pi, as important constants in my life, you're as important but as confusing as i.
I mean, at times you're really confusing me
like rationalizing the negative square root of 3, but it's simply, really how I thought it would be to make sense of irrationality. Things like this would make sense mathematically, but not in reality. In reality, you're more simple, yet oh-so filled with insanity. But it still boggles my mind, on how a lovely variable like you becomes a constant in my life.
Why do you want to forget
All the things that you've done wrong
Why do you make things complicated?
In a night full of splendors,
An eclipse? A change of heart?
Never forget the things you've done.
Never escape from what you've gone thru.
You can never truly run away from reality.
You can never escape me.
Plan A: there is none as such;
though unflinching ego makes
complex calculations, concludes,
reassures it is best laid for sure.
Plan B, hence has no actual relevance
A mountain river, life is, it rushes
the way the cryptic GPS message directs.
If you ask how it works, try to understand
the intricate organic correlations, involving factors
that even a super computer can't process
but your mind would, somehow easily tell you
in a clear voice, if only you are ready to listen.
Every best laid plan is merely a wish
the more profound is spoken as a prayer
words addressed to the voice inside, that listens and acts
fulfillment then, is an emotional construct
you need the scent of that flower to inspire life.
Who says the cosmic plan is mysterious?
One who walks the karma path right, even when eyes closed
knows how to reach where one is headed to.
The truth this: one leads oneself, so keep the inner eyes open.
Subtle wishes that bring smile on the face of thy neighbor
are much more meaningful than selfish desires
Don't let yourself slip away.
I know it is hard.
I know there are times
when you fantasize
what it would be like
to move on to your next existence,
that there truly is a Plan
and that plan not only includes YOU,
but all those who you LOVE
and who love you.
Just keep that in mind.
Don't let yourself slip away.
Where will you
will I find
it in your eyes?
pupils widened against
wildly seeking some small
in the clench of your hands
gripping your seat as your
sneakers kick out
or will I distill it in the
I'll smash you with
my will if
my fists don't find
in your body
I see you carrying all
the weapons you can't
toss. an arsenal of hope
I wish life hadn't forged
but I'm not the one
that made it so.
So you take that feeble
power and just keep saying
Taking control of life
that is meant to be mine
a life full of happiness and joy
but caught in the middle of a raging war.
Years of fighting has taken its toll
as I sit and watch my life
fight with every tool and nail,
a glimmer of hope surfaces
a little bundle of joy
kicking and screaming
ready to take its place.
For too many years,
I watched as life tossed me
here and there,
up and down.
It is all a game,
I told myself
one minute I would seem to be a winner,
and the next finish as the runner-up.
But a life without a reason
now has a meaning
a battle without a plan
now has a purpose,
to live and fight another day.
i am writing poems just to make You upset
when i should have learned from the lesson You taught me
transparency hurts more than a punch in the balls
You can bet your life on that
even though i know all that
i'm still trying to find a way NOT to hurt You
maybe I'll punch you in the balls just to make sure
Sold my soul to the game, wasn't cheap.
Loves you at first, then it plays for keeps.
Finally light outside; another night on the streets.
Couple grand in my hand, trying to feed my little man.
Get rich or die trying; change of plan.
To get this money; had to give my right hand.
Life's a bitch; I blame that on the man.
Another hustle, another day
another hommie, getting carried away.
Pray for the strong, that prey on the weak.
Protect me soul, when we finally meet.
Got my name from woman,
Learn game from the street.
God ain't answering my prayers,
must be waiting til we meet.
Focused on the money,
I'm just trying to eat.
Killing myself, trying to make ends meet.