hate born of love
like Poison leaking through
the petaled veil

❦

Anxious.
Feeling insufficient.
Knowing I'm insufficient.
Wanting insufficiency.
Not quite sufficient.
Comparing and contrasting.
Contrasting.

Wanting acceptance to be my most authentic self.
What is my most authentic self?
Where do I find her?

Focusing on the next milestone.
Getting there and doing the same.
What do we meet at the milestone?
Will be happy will be content will be accepted will be winning,
at the next milestone.

How do you live in the present moment?
What is the present moment?

I have never written about you                                          
The bond we share,
The chance to be one, which I blew.
You mend us and tried to clear the air,
But I already accepted the fall which I knew.
I am responsible for every tear, I swear.
You were right and always true.
I regret but, to accept this in past, I scare.

There's this hole
I feel so low
I am not whole
Shot by an arrow and a bow

Never felt this broken
Only been cracked and
Thought that I was given
But no, something was taken

Never felt this lonely
This hole inside of me
It's making me empty
Cover it coz it's draining me

Used to be alone
Now you're here
You carried me along
Never been this happy

if you tell me I'm wrong,
I won't try to change your mind.
I have better things
To do with my time.
And if you think you can find someone
Better for you than me,
Then go. Be free.
I won't try to change your mind.
Because I love with eyes wide open.
Never blind.
Never again.

We were made with half a soul
In search of our whole
Tamaltuious audacity across Gods earth
Investing blood sweat and tears from birth
Pain it brings when one thinks.
Vadalidation beautiful creation blooms
Edevours paid Wolves on longer yearns, love brings
He found a way to spend eturniry in his moons,
Infinite proclivury
#mrquid

I can barely lift my head
I haven't eaten a thing today
I was waiting for you to message me
It never happened.

I never forgot
No matter how hard I tried
The company we sought
The way I felt inside
Your favorite colors, and your deepest fear
The things you said that melted me
And helped me persevere

You changed my whole world
My old life shed like the skin on a snake
The blanket of security unfurled
But I dealt with the heartache

Because I had you
And though it was a lie
What happened was still truth
A story hard to come by

Oh, I never forgot
No matter the cost
You are often in my thoughts
Your presence, oh so soft

My heart was reaching out for you
And I meant every word I said
In the end I couldn't break through
To a heart already dead

You cursed my very nature
And you threw away our past
Changing until one day you were a stranger
Your new outlook so steadfast

But I never forgot the way you were
And what it was  we shared
Even if I'll never know for sure
If you ever really cared..