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  Jan 12 Samara
Just Here
For a while,
happiness was an issue
I ignored.

For a while, I laid in bed
Fell asleep in the morning,
woke in the evening,
and days became seconds,
and my summer was gone.

Winter has been going by
in such record time,
that these days I don't even bother checking my watch.
Samara Jan 12
my hot coffee, now cold
everything feels, so old
pushing, perservering
why? when we're all perishing

i feel nothing
but the world
on my  shoulders
it's gone, all the gold
and all the wonders
- - -
i know i should care
but nothing seems to matter
and i'd much rather
be looking down
at the same nightmare
Samara May 2021
it’s over
it’s done
there’s nothing left
to be won
not for me
but maybe for you

i'm back home now
in the abyss
where i cant be
how you want me to be
and you can never see
how much it’s hurting me

so what is there left to do?
nothing else until I’m through.
maybe then you can visit me
with a hand full of peonies
Samara May 2021
In my final hours
I acknowledge
there is nothing
more that I can say,
nothing more
that I can do

I can never be
what you need of me
without dying a little
on the inside
day by day
until I'm gone forever
Samara May 2021
walking away-
i lay down my arms
awaiting the cease fire
you never call.

my eyes are open
& it'll never change
yet i still wait

& i'm standing still now
embracing the bullets you
throw my way-
the ones you call good intentions
but they hurt me all the same

is it a thrill how
each passes through me
and leaves an empty space
as they go

you can see through me now
yet i wonder why
you never stop asking
me what's wrong

what's wrong
is that there's nothing
left of me
Samara Feb 2021
it's any different than
past suns and moons.
You won't hold me
when they visit me nightly.
Kiss me Good Night
& sing to me softly
even though they
make me live
and relive
so harshly.
- - -
To forget...
...I'm left holding
Just as I have... past suns
& present moons

Samara Feb 2021
almost like I never knew.
There I am am feeling like I belong.
Not an inkling of bring wrong.
Along comes another
to show me I'm a bother.

Like them I cannot be...
...yet still I try

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