River of life, river of love
watery veins move through the world
as the clouds above are twirled
we take falling blessing from above

I wink reflections thanking the sun
for giving life to my moving gun:
amphibians as friends I won't be alone
my body finds rest over cobblestone

Colours turn from blue to greens
as my waters are swallowed by leafy strings
patience allows my powered nodes
to beat time as my movement corrodes
away at the rock
away at the clock

i think i have finally understood the concept of moving on for people like me, for people who have a heart like me and also for the ones who love the same way i do.

you see, when you end up loving someone the same way i love - you can never really get over them even when it's over.
when you've integrated someone into your life, making them a part of your life, it stays. they don't just leave your life like that, even when they're already gone.
when you've made someone one of your main sources of happiness and when they stop becoming so - sure, they're just one of your main sources of happiness but just like wifi, full signal is always better than half even though it still works, right?

moving on is never being able to completely look at someone and feel nothing even when you've shared a past together. it's about accepting the fact that you'll never ever have a chance with them ever again, no matter how much you want them. it's crying at night because you can't turn back time to fix things or to feel how much they once loved you. it's seeing them happy with someone new and softly whispering, "if you're happy, then i'm happy too." it's constantly torturing yourself with wishful thinking and hopelessly dreaming about another chance, for them to reconsider their choices of leaving you but feeling suffocated because you know, hope isn't even an option anymore - it's just pointless wishing. it's about understanding that you will never really understand why things didn't work out. it's about putting their well-being and happiness before yours because you know that if yours were prioritized, or even cared about, they wouldn't be as happy as they are today without you. it's about looking forward to go to bed because you can finally see them in your dreams but not being able to fall asleep because the thoughts of the past are flooding your mind like a tsunami.

i could go on for days, but i think you get it.
i think you understand that moving on does not mean you don't love them or care about them anymore, but it means you love and care about them enough to let them be because if leaving you is what makes them happy, so be it. even though it hurts.

so even if i have moved on from you,
(here i go again with the wishful thinking but)
if one day you decide to come back,
please know that i will always welcome you back with open arms and i will whisper, "i have been waiting for you."

I'm jealous
Not with what you have,
But with what you've been going through your life.
Your happy life.

The sparkle in your eyes like stars in the night.
The way your thin lips turned into a smile.
When you make a face as your burst into laughter
For you couldn't hold the joy that you are feeling anymore.

I wish to feel that way.
I wish to be complete again just like when I was just a kid.
I want to fill the emptiness in both my mind and heart.

But this is me.
This is what makes me who I am today.
This is my life.
This is what God planned to give to me.

Yes, I complain but it's just normal.
To sometimes let your emotions out so you'll feel better.
You may be overreacting but who cares?
That's what you're feeling.

Once you feel better,
Take a deep breathe.
Blink your eyes for as much as you want.
And say this to your self.

Life goes on.

It continues to move forward.
Do the best thing you can do.
Cleanse the negativity in your life,
using that good heart of yours.

Thank your everyday life.
Be glad that you get to see the clouds again.
Absorb every positive energy that you can get,
just like how the people absorb the heat from the sun on a beach.

Most of all,
Always pray to God.
Make him the center of your life.
The world doesn't revolve around you.

God's love is what makes the world revolve.

**-K

Little nooks have passed tonight
And new beginnings bore us on
But I fear nothing now
Crouch again I shan't

Loathe all above you
Curse the lightning struck so far away
But sleep with me, soft tails of hope
I am your burrow tonight

What minds are temples to these eyes?
What thoughts are wrought of dragon sleep?
What power lies awake at night
Fearing, fearing clouds?

What water stirs the millers opinion?
What algae slinks from murky adoption?
I'm you, I'm you,
The cuckoo sobs
And all else wears its feelings.

For lions may dance
Lions may sing
And lions fear no raindrop's glory
I chill, I scream, but not for your sake
For my own terrifying passage
And what is to come

a kiss, my dear,
for old times sake.
swallow your pride
and just let go.

please embrace me
like you used to.
i want to feel
longing again.

emotions gone,
missing once more.
i do not know
if i'll survive.

holes in my heart
that you once filled,
are cavernous
craters, i know.

but move forward,
i tell myself.
do not look back,
smile through pain.

I've got one thing
to do
three words
for you

Burn in hell.

As I close my eyes
to free myself from the suffering
of the external world
everything stops except
for the sound that
we don't hear during the day,
the tick tock,
The one that follows another, tick tock
I can hear it again,
again, again and again
it never stops
for it's the life of the clock
like the soul of a hollow body
life continues, as the needle moves
away from its past
tick tock, tick tock, tick to-

i don't want to know your name
nor do i care who the ******* are, what makes you you
and i don't want to know that you can't eat spaghettios anymore because they made you throw up one time a couple years ago;
i'm not curious about your little secrets
and i certainly dont give a **** about your family tree

and i'll gently hold your face in my hands one more time tonight,
but you shouldn't expect to pick apart my brain after the lights turn on and the music stops playing  

( i watched my sanity drop like a disco ball onto your cement floor into ten million little pieces while the cats licked them off the ground and i just sat there and watched, i couldn't even move. )