I'm 2 days late
I took two pregnancy tests
both
negative
a clear negative
apparently I really
do have a ****** up body
fifteen year olds get pregnant
everyday
with unwanted children
and
I can't conceive
even after months of
being off birth control
I've always thought
there had to be something wrong
with me
I'm the only woman I know
with a chest as flat as mine
and
weird stomach and intestine
issues at this age
I know girls who get pregnant
by drinking water
I think I am barren
but they say it's not true
since I was pregnant once
for 8 weeks
and then my own body
terminated it
for no reason
I couldn't have been doing more
of the right things
and it didn't matter anyway
My body kind of scares me
and now
I'm missing my time of the month
which has never happened before
but I know it's not good
I've been so stressed out
and unable to sleep
maybe that's it
It's times like these
I'd rather be anyone else
with a normal body
and a normal cycle
and a normal ******

This is a man (Malcolm X) I believe gave our Black people confidence in times most needed. He extended common sense amongst scrambled minds and perspective to scholars who thought they had it figured out. His methods, must like a scientist. I'm speaking of the way he even compartmentalized subjects with much harmony and such fluidity. I respect the approaches he took to bind our Black people. I know that he held sincere compassion for the progress of our Black communities. This is why he weighs so heavy on us 50 years later. Probably heavier than ever, he resonates. He rises every time the consistent bullet of injustice pierces the flesh of our people. Each time one falls victim to ignorance or returns to the way they know better than to follow, Malcolm X is there. He is in our Black men, the rebellious hunger. The starvation and thirst will drive you to a point of discipline and control of self or the continuous massacre of dignity, pride and structure in the Black body. We are failing ourselves. We were once victims and for too long stayed that way. We are surely oppressed and have been for too long but we are not to feel sorry for ourselves. We are not to help the oppressor further press us down into our own graves. We are not victims anymore. We are not to allow others to sympathize for us. We are not the minority, they may say what they will. We have learned far too many lessons and we have had far too many teachers to continue letting this ignorance run through and destroy our beauty. Volumes of lectures, instructions - literally the key to rising is in our possession and we have failed generation after generation to seam our strengths and unlock what is already ours. We have been warned, it will not be an easy task nor a joyful journey. We will fight, we will bleed, we will not rest many nights, we will not look the same many years from now, we will not hold the same energy, we will not have the amount of time that we have at this very moment. The amount of time that we have to wake up, change and be better for those looking for answers 50 years from now. Like those before us, it is up to us to leave our words, power and visions as the foundation of inspiration, as the response for what our struggle has really meant and the love that has to be built to get us there. *

© 2015 Rhea Nadia

An Elephant In Gray, A Pear In Hay.
Met Each Other On This Day.

An Elephant Pulled Out A Knife, A Pear Without A Wife.
Met Together With A Strife.

An Elephant In Gray, No Pear In Hay.
Left Each Other On This Day.
But The Pear Would Return...
In The Month of May

Ex Parte.