The wall is my punching bag
and your face is my inspiration.
Even when my knuckles sag,
there is no hesitation.

I have bruises on my fingers
but it is not the wall's fault.
It is the surge of my anger's
and they make my fists stronger.

The poison you poured in me
is overflowing the bottle.
Every punch the wall meets
is every sip of my struggle.

The pain is sinking in
and it feels worse than the bruises.
It's buried deeper within
so I dig but it refuses.

The wall is nothing
to what festers inside.
My punches do nothing
and there is nowhere to hide.

The disease is within me
and it is thriving in my mind.
The only way out is nowhere in sight.
I looked to my fists to set myself free
but my fists have no eyes
so I cannot see.

Now, my arms deserve to rest.
I'll even bid them a good night
because today won't be the worst
and I'll need them another time.

A have a guardian angel of woe
Watching over me
He collects my due of sorrow
Pocketing it in black memory
Only when I have been too happy
Will then he a little share
Out of his enormous collection
A carefully measured handful spare
So I am never lost to sadness
Nor ever in happiness corrupt
Living a life in measured scales
Between the two, in his trust
Devoid of bliss, far from infinite joy
Safe from maddening grief and

Why did it have to happen
What is it , I am supposed to learn from it ?
If my life wasn't perfect already
Well now it's gone to ****
Walking around with a mask on
What used to be me
My uniqueness
What's that ?
No hugs Stay away
No going out
No rock concerts
That was what keep me alive
That's what made it worth it ..
Not alone sheltered from living and laughing
Being with others
Going places
Enjoying being alive
Enjoying the beauty of nature
That's living
Talk about depression
I wonder why keep living
Alone and Depressed
I wonder why ?
What's this life lesson
What did. I do in a past life
to deserve this ..
Hmmm ...
© Jennifer L DeLong 10/24/2020

How awful the world is!
How creepy the self is!
How weird she is !
SHE can no longer breeze
How savage humanity is!
Where she lives ,
She is not what she is!

We climb the stars
Make honey in our hearts

Mad as a jackrabbit
We leap into dark holes

Walk among winged creatures
Quiver in our skins

And swear that we can fly
Feather-light on love alone

Dreams tell
Another about
A persons past
For example my father
Was according to a dream
Was a mad scientist
Who cheated on his wife with his subjects
How the horrors the dreams can reavel
About other people
Or yourself