I've got dreams of you tempting me, torturing.
They are sweet sometimes, others I dread.
When you reach for my hand, I feel butterflies.
Being next to you seems like a threat.

I've got dreams of you loving me, frightening.
Hand in hand walking slow by the beach.
Those are cruel, such confusing illusions.
When I wake you're nowhere I can reach.

I've got dreams of you touching me, troubling.
Screaming soul of mine begging for peace.
I've got dreams you were mine, unmistakably.
Till I woke I was feeling at ease.

Picnics under rays of cancer

Sandstorms,
continuously in center.

I wish I could have mentioned
I wish I could have mentioned

Drawings of my dead mother

Foreplay to no end

Endless laughter with no beginning

I hope I still have time

I hope you still allow
for me to say,
thank you.


Nightmares filled with little girls

Clovers of two cloves

what am I supposed to do with this information?

I guess I’ll just hold on to this information.


Picnics in a sandstorm
Under rays of cancer
Is how I portray my feelings
of loving you

at your center.

Loving is not that easy
We ended these badly
Someone with beautiful brain
He always listens
Even without communications
Hope I see you sooner
Cause you want to see me better
i am wondering what would happen further
i hope the door is still open
but don't know when i will enter

looking at those photographs
scrappy edges
wiry film
blurry but not hazy
hazy but not blurry
silent but speaking
in some tongue foreign to me
yet strangely familiar
like an old postcard
ink worn but scented with memories
pictures of people
pictures of things
broken-down cars
old lonesome barns
store fronts
alleyways
colors and tones
washes and finishes
edited
untouched

i saw you in them
or maybe i saw myself
perhaps it was both of us

im outside my body
i saw myself in you
i dont know where you are
i hope you are in happiness
wherever that is
wherever you may be
i dont know where i went

maybe i can find it
that drop of innocence left behind
long ago forgotten
the perpetual search for childhood
the ache for simplicity
longing for something solid
to stop us all from being swept away in the madness
in a world with so much chaos
so violent with envy and lust

those pictures made me sad
and i felt an emptiness i have not felt so incessantly
as if the whole sea had been poured out
over the desert
running out of dry land
no where new to go
no more room left to grow

looking at these frozen moments
these snapshots of stillness in in a world that is spinning
you manage to find the perfect silence
in all of this deafening violence
a momentary pause from perpetual motion
laughter and sunshine
held in place as if god closed her eyes so that for just one moment, the world could hold its breath
and you could bottle it all up
shadows and highlights climbing out of frame
colors flowing
to greet me in my monochrome

they make me ache to feel those memories
to breathe fresh air
to see and not be seen
to be a spectator
of life's hidden moments
to feel something

and for a moment they make me wish
i too could capture the warmth of a spring evening
in a single frame
to find beauty in a street sign
but ill leave that to you

Love
Knows nothing of time.
When I see you again, it
Shall be a whole eternity-
But yet, no more than a
Moment past our last
Goodbye.