I didn't stop loving you
It's just that I started hating myself

To the sidewalk at Night

Cranberry to the house.
It's not right.
I feel old.
Like the rust of speech.
Like 3 degrees off and a letter from Jack.
Takes all 2 seconds to get used to it.
The nearness of you.
And the walk back home.


Garrett Johnson.

I should’ve known how this would end
We played the part of distant friends
I knew this would hurt like a metal fist
When I came near & barely felt your kiss
You should’ve seen my hand the other day
Shaking and trembling like a rusty train
When it comes and goes in a fiery blaze
Lungs burn, blood boils, a grueling state
I’m calling around for a saving grace
And with two bruised knees, I’ll try to pray
What was that thing you said to my face?
Honey you’ll find love but not today

Only one loving glance of you
gives my heart joy like an ocean.
I have seen other beautiful ladies
and lovely women
But as for me, you're the best one
and I still see your smile in my dreams.

Babe, your lovely black eyes
melt into shyness.
I feel so pleased
with philophobia
when you get down in the water.
Yeah, you're still walking in my dreams.

Your eyes are full of languages
of my little heart.
The moon that fills the sky
The flower that smells to attract love
Maybe they follow your shadow.
Love, I ask you to stay in my dream always.

What is life?
Life is
The magical moments
That keeps your heart levitated,
That keeps you on your toes,
That fills you up with warmth,
Filled with loving moments,
That you can’t get enough of,
And wish that it stays.

But,
Life doesn’t give you what you want,
No matter how many pennies you throw into the fountain.
What is life?
Life is
The dark moments
The ones where you cry when something doesn’t go your way,
The ones where you must carry an umbrella and wear all black,
The ones where you feel like S*;
These ones are when you feel hopeless
No matter how many times you fall,
And don’t feel like you should get back up.

Everyone’s day feels like one of these.
Wake up and find out: Are you having a magical or a dark day?
But the worst of all, are the ones where it is magical then it slowly turns dark;
Where you think everything is in your favor,
And you are about to show the world that they should not mess with you
Then a text or a tweet comes in
And everyone turns their back to you.

i bare myself in word-song to share
in rhythm and sound,
to release this pressure in crisp,
light notes-- palatable.
to share sordid beauty
that i've yet to understand,
to let you know you're not alone.
to dig to the core of something likely awful,
nasty, and stupid, and reason with it to
kindness and love.
i bare myself to understand
and be understood.