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Jason Adriel Feb 2020
o, this vain trepidation,
the fear that though it is you
who demands sincerity,
you're still treading
on both grounds

and i wound up lying on the floor
beaten and battered. and you're
the one dealing the final blow.
Uncertainty is the theme here.
muteD Feb 2020
I used to think nothing was stronger than love.
As long as we had love, nothing could come between us.
As long as I knew love I would never be heartless.
And as long as you knew I loved you, we would be fine.
Who knew I’d be wrong?
Maybe I love too hard.
That has to be it.
There has to be a reason why I feel so drained instead of feeling loved.
There has to be a reason why the feeling of judgement surrounds me like a suffocating blanket!
Oh! how to be able to breathe would feel..
Maybe I would be able to if I loved less.

Slowly but surely, love is becoming an unknown and foreign object to me.
Something that certainly can’t be attained.
Right?
How could I know love after all the pain I’ve sludged through?
It seems as out of reach as receiving any sort of maternal affection.
How could something so positive as Love impact me so negatively?
Maybe love isn’t as cracked out as it were made to seem
and maybe things will become better if I become Love-less.
Love is a strange thing, isn’t it?
i'm sorry that i'm not enough
i'm sorry you thought this was love
i'm sorry my walls are too tough
i'm sorry i threw down the glove
i'm sorry my edges are rough
i'm sorry when push came to shove
i'm sorry was never enough
little lioness Jan 2020
You'd think that by now, I would know better than to fall for someone like you; that my heart would have realized falling for someone so unreachable was foolish. You'd think that years of heartbreak and betrayal would have taught me that some people are simply meant to be alone... that I'm simply meant to be
alone.

You'd think I'd know better than to try and make myself beautiful for you, that years of failed attempts to cover my flaws with foundation and mascara would have been enough. That I'd have realized by the third time that words of love are just words of lies; that love is only given to those who deserve it... and that I don't
deserve it.

I thought I knew better; knew that my dreams of a happily ever after were no more than the dreams of a naive schoolgirl, pining after a man that would never exist... a man that would never love her.
Knew that Sunday mornings spent curled up with the love of your life were only for those who didn't have to try, that love was supposed to be effortless.
Knew that I would never be, will never be the one anyone wants, that my soul was too tainted and imperfect to have a mate. That somebody like you was just a fantasy.

But you're here...and ever so unreachable.
Kahou Eru Jan 2020
I admit I never had real love for you
I admit I did truly care for you
I admit I was ever so tolerant
I admit despite you narcissistic nature
I still never hated you.
I admit despite your using nature and definitions of what "love" and a "real man" is
I stayed there for you even from a distance.
I admit I see why you are alone and never found real love, sorry *** doesn't make love true no matter how good it was.
I admit I never dated anyone as pathetic as you.
I admit falling for you ,I now grew pathetic Too.
I admit  I want to learn you and you learn to me and I don't maybe we both can grow.
Can you just admit it's your fault just once.
Emily Jan 2020
thoughts rush
adrenaline kicks
heart beats
heart sinks
            down
                   down
                          down
       until your stuck in the thoughts that couldn't be
why mother?
          why leave me?
I though I was your doll.
I though I was your happiness.
instead i'm trapped.
stuck.
no where left to go.
what do I do with life now.
what do I do with no love,
no hope.
kain Jan 2020
I don't love you
But you still mean something
You mean pain
You mean lying awake
Trying to erase all those moments
The longest five hours of my life
And you caused them

You don't own me
But I'm your midnight memory
I bet I'm sacred to you
A pale body in the moonlight
Naked for you
I am nothing to you

And I don't want you
You are my snow spill bloodshed
You're the pill under my tongue
Dissolving, making me numb
I don't love you
It will always be that way
Are we abusive? All I know is that we are both ****** up and I honestly deserve you. I'm could and you're a burning heat that you can't even feel. That dream about shoplifting was a glimpse of the future. I bet we have a messy home and messy *** and messy clothes. We both know we're hurting and we both know we hate it, and yet we keep going. God, I don't want to be with you.
N Dec 2019
Anxiety wraps
itself around me,

like a coat that
doesn’t fit me

like a lover that
doesn’t love me

like a fire that
doesn’t warm me
I rewrote this poem because it felt unfinished.
N Nov 2019
Let me whisper
my last goodbye
between your lips

Oh, won’t you let me
bury this poem along
with our dead love

And pour my salty tears
upon your naked shoulder
This poem has been lingering in my throat so here.
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