I might’ve inhaled her scent
when we were making our
soon to be last goodbyes

Her scent filled my lungs
So I held my breath
and counted to ten

Countless tens,
I lost track

Suffocated,
I inhaled the smoke

Broken,
I buried what she felt like

Abandoned,
I exhaled her out of me

When breathing felt
the same as drowning—

and I’ve drowned myself once

—I gasped for her scent
with each breath I took

‘Side my castle of creation
queries ‘trench their tangled teeth
‘to the skin of ideations
left by my kindly hearth to sleep.

Barbaric! Fixing little ones,
woken from their tender dreams,
as trophies ‘top their flags of war,
proud to wave their silent screams.

Drag me, ruthless, from my chamber!
Throw me, forceful, ‘pon the ground!
Show me, lifeless, cased in embers!
Pour me, endless, blood to drown!

Look, they shout, amongst the ashes!
N' ****** my face into the bones.  
Cradled in their kind-less caskets,
ugly truths I’d always known.  

Now ‘lone I sit in contemplation,
scared on stony perch to find,
‘side this castle of creation,
hope to ease my loveless mind.

I do not know
how to grieve you

So I will weep
into my pillow

Hoping you’d hear
my gentle sobs,
and forget how to dream

I’m breathing in
all the breaths I lost
over your gaze,

and exhaling every poems  
that rhymed with your name

I try to find something familiar in the stranger staring back at me. I don’t recognize him. I don’t think he ever cared. Event though he made me believe he did. I don’t think he ever loved me. He loved the reflection of the man he saw in my eyes. Loving only the way I loved him. I made him my sun, I made him the stars in my darkness. I gave him my heart. Looking back now. I don’t think I loved him either. I loved having a man on my side, to please, to cater to. He was so broken and I had someone to fix. I can finally move on knowing there is nothing left worth pursuing, because we never really loved.

A rose is sweet
But Rosé is sweeter
Got me a bottle
When the world's a little bitter

Pour me a glass
or 2
or 3
I got nobody,
No place I gotta be

It goes
down
down
down
into the pit

I dig
down
down
down
until I'm buried underneath all my ****

...

This
sweet
sweet
sweet
Oblivion

I'm a
sweet
sweet
sweet
sweet
Contradiction

...

Hey Mr. Sun, how are you
Haven't seen you in a month or 2
or 3
or 4
I'm fine, give me more
One bottles' just a bottle until I hit the floor

Hold me tight
Hold me like a gun you will not shoot
Just embrace being the keeper of fate
To have the power to end it all and thus end this momentary suffering
Hold me like a mother, countless of times comforting her child and letting her soft cotton top soak up the tears
Just take me and squeeze me so I don't feel
So that the only thing I'm aware of is your touch and my body is a log and my brain is a dock and the waves crash
The buzzing wind in my ears
The crackle of the bones
The wetness of the shore
I look up, lifting my head above water
Your eyes warm and blue-grey with seagulls
I'm your little baby
And your prey.

So I shall no longer defend
New kinds of love that you invent
Ever-changing list of demands
Keeps contradicting its own commands
After the sin quick to repent
With brief engagements in descent
Straighten all that you have bent
Amend what you're yet to amend
Letting those you left all depend
On your attention already spent
At each new encounter decadent
Your passion wasted on random men
Though fell, kept grace, that's evident
For what it's worth your growth is imminent