I’m breathing in
all the breaths I lost
over your gaze,

and exhaling every poems  
that rhymed with your name

I try to find something familiar in the stranger staring back at me. I don’t recognize him. I don’t think he ever cared. Event though he made me believe he did. I don’t think he ever loved me. He loved the reflection of the man he saw in my eyes. Loving only the way I loved him. I made him my sun, I made him the stars in my darkness. I gave him my heart. Looking back now. I don’t think I loved him either. I loved having a man on my side, to please, to cater to. He was so broken and I had someone to fix. I can finally move on knowing there is nothing left worth pursuing, because we never really loved.

A rose is sweet
But Rosé is sweeter
Got me a bottle
When the world's a little bitter

Pour me a glass
or 2
or 3
I got nobody,
No place I gotta be

It goes
down
down
down
into the pit

I dig
down
down
down
until I'm buried underneath all my ****

...

This
sweet
sweet
sweet
Oblivion

I'm a
sweet
sweet
sweet
sweet
Contradiction

...

Hey Mr. Sun, how are you
Haven't seen you in a month or 2
or 3
or 4
I'm fine, give me more
One bottles' just a bottle until I hit the floor

Hold me tight
Hold me like a gun you will not shoot
Just embrace being the keeper of fate
To have the power to end it all and thus end this momentary suffering
Hold me like a mother, countless of times comforting her child and letting her soft cotton top soak up the tears
Just take me and squeeze me so I don't feel
So that the only thing I'm aware of is your touch and my body is a log and my brain is a dock and the waves crash
The buzzing wind in my ears
The crackle of the bones
The wetness of the shore
I look up, lifting my head above water
Your eyes warm and blue-grey with seagulls
I'm your little baby
And your prey.

So I shall no longer defend
New kinds of love that you invent
Ever-changing list of demands
Keeps contradicting its own commands
After the sin quick to repent
With brief engagements in descent
Straighten all that you have bent
Amend what you're yet to amend
Letting those you left all depend
On your attention already spent
At each new encounter decadent
Your passion wasted on random men
Though fell, kept grace, that's evident
For what it's worth your growth is imminent

There are islands on Fiji not a sole
has touched
Streets in Italy I
have not walked
Air in Sweden I
have not breathed
A home, somewhere, I
have not found

My head longs for a bed
that feels like my own
My heart yearns for people
who will call me home

But for now

I will lay in a cold bed
Wrap myself up
in the hope of tomorrow
Hold loveless hands
Until I get home

they scream in guilt

i respond in silence

they hear rage

i hear red compulsions

they leave

my skin is now crying

all i wanted was a hug

you *******

let's sail,
Find strength in the wind.
Dream on the ship, I want to be carefree.

We could soar in their disbelief
but I already know you're not the one.
Why am I wasting my time,
Again.
I'm being lazy in love,
far too impatient..