The noise between words

Is unbearably loud

You were quiet,
And I was loud,
You were amazing,
And I was proud.

You barely spoke once a day,
And I could talk forever,
But most days we didn't need to speak,
As long as we were together.

Because it was what you didn't say,
so worthwhile yet small,
Those are the whispers,
that made me love you at all.

Lost in my thoughts again
They're dark and I can't seem to hide
Nightmares are speaking again
The lurk around to hunt me down

"Don't cry, Jojo, it's all ok."
These lies I tell myself each day.

Why THEY say that I'm a friends
About me, much, they do not care
When I need them the most
They are always never there.

"Don't cry, Jojo, it's all ok."
These lies I tell myself each day.
theseliesitellmyselfeachday

I like believing people when they say that actions speak louder than words. I heard I miss yous the loudest when you kissed my hands, I love yous deafened me when your lips met mine. I knew I hold the world when my arms wrapped around you and you reciprocated the sweetness that coated us.

I think that's how it works, you show me and I think. I will think what I want it to mean.

After so many wordless but apparent moments that I put wholehearted conviction that are true, you finally showed proof.

I heard a glass breaking when you dropped my hands. I watched your back slowly fading away, and the gusty space between us whispered to me with suddenness, "it's over."

I looked into your eyes, but you looked away.
You mouthed no word, but I clearly heard.
Although I tried to deny,
your silence sounded like goodbye.

Predatory traces remain amongst the spread soot
The ashes that bore the incentive of a smile
A lonely ribbon flew along the scene - it was caught;
Grasped by the canids of a desperate pastime.

"Papa, can you hear me?"
"I will be holding the candles today"
"You have returned at last..."
"... but why did you leave again?"

Muffled screams, stinging pain, faint echoing of what remains,
The vitality that lingered in the sun,
Disappeared, in its stern gleam.

Trails of anguish resonate through the field, a grand feast
Clotted tufts, sent with grief, are held and spread over the field
My dearest father,
When the light shone down and revealed its deceit,
A realm that struck me headfirst, belittling me,
As you dance with the wind, I cry for an eternity.

The hounds of decay sing a melody, so daunting, intimidating tones
In deafening ecstasy, the games the shepherds play,
The ceasing of a prosperous juvenescence, killing feisty innocence.

In a loud cascade, the scenery deteriorates
Lush wisps of fire, dulled petals flourish in the wind
Dim embers, odoriferous leaves that dwindle amongst the feet
In anger they remained at the efflorescent poppies
The putrid grave that yielded

The warmth of the snow felt enticing, exciting
The numbed senses within the blank slate.

"I will be home tonight"
"Crying in the darkness"
"For my dearest smile..."

"... exists no more."

These feelings are so loud
I cannot hear anything else.
Determined to drown them out,
I dare you
to do your damnedest
to demolish my eardrums
with decibels meant to devastate.
I want to be crushed
by a falling wall
of bone-breaking,
soul-shaking
sound,
please,
surround me
with suffocating blankets
of sonic booms.