I used to be myself, I used to be complete
But people thought I was trying to hard to be something
So I changed myself into what I'd thought they'd want
Now I live my life pretending I belong

I have searched high and low for some kind of validation
But all I ever found are people with more expectations
So I will love with all I can
And hope that some day I'll finally feel like a man

I don't want to waste your time for you to figure out who I am
And I don't want you to waste mine just to leave me for who I am
My head might be my home but I am willing to leave
And if you show that you want it I'll give you the key

The only thing I learned in this world is to shut my filthy mouth
'Cause no one really cares about what comes out
I'm done trying just to be heard
So that I will have to rely on little birds

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/little-birds

Pursed lips and oxygen slowly drips
from lips that were dyed red
with little, parasite lies
I consumed you whole and
the corpse you leave behind
is your true identity
of who you really were
a selfish *******.

How will a little child
open his eyes
in a world
that is filled with
lies?
Where unheard go
a mother's,
a wife's,
a daughter's
cries.

My little box, tell me the truth
I can't see brightness
I can't hear happiness
I'm torn in little pieces
I'm within fire storm
My little box, don't blame me
When I miss my torturer
When I miss my torture
When I miss my pain
My little box, it's not your fault
It's my fault to love
It's my fault to trust
It's my fault to be hurt
I'm the only one to blame
My little box, show me
The way to my agony
Feed me with your misery
Jail my hopes and dreams
And have me put to sleep
My little box, grant my wishes
To never have a life
To never be happy
To never wish for coming days
And never let her leave you again

I want someone to look me in the eyes
like nothing else matters

I want to wake up to him
or a text from him or something more
than the empty feeling in my chest

I want someone to share random thoughts with

I want him to pull me into
his jacket and zip us up inside

I want to talk to someone
about theories, ethics, words,
the universe and more

I want someone to call me at one in the morning
and tell me to look at Polaris

I want him to pick me up unexpectedly
and make me laugh hysterically until I snort

I want someone to trade literature with,
sleep in with, cuddle with

I want someone to miss me when we're apart

Here's what I've been saving,
here's just a little taste.
I've wanted to say it,
so here it goes; I like your face.

I don't just mean "your face",
'cause I like the other parts too!
Together, I find them much better,
because together they make you.

And let's face it,
I like you more with eyes and ears and toes.
But what I love, perhaps most of all
is the tip of your stout little nose.

Now don't get me wrong,
I'd love you even with no bells or whistles.
Yet when you look at me with those eyes,
you make my heart race; blood sizzle.

I don't think I've gotten across
quite what I've wanted to say.
But maybe it just wasn't meant to be,
maybe it's for another day.