~~~
for our children and their children
~~~

the reason we say so oft,
in whispers emboldened,

I love you

to our children
is not the utility of
its summarizing brevity

no, no.
it is because

the eloquence of simplicity
supersedes any other poem
we could ever write...
~~~

July 26 2015

Perhaps it’s time

I don’t understand

You’re right, and this is where I draw the line

Can you please explain?

I’m tired of this life, tired of the lies

I had no idea you were in pain.

Does anyone, really?
Do they really expect it?
Do they have any idea to expect the worst from me?

No, they don’t.

That’s right, they don’t. I hide it too well.

No, you don’t. I saw. I noticed.

And you were too late. Don’t you see me pulling away?

Are you? I had no idea.

Just let me go now. Let me fade until I’m just a bad memory.

To fall in love.
To be kicked and tugged.
To picking up, and moving on.

To stepping forward.
To find courage, within this coward.
To letting go, of what's already gone.
To what's been said, and what's been done.

I take my hopes, and pack 'em.
Close the door, leave through the back an'
Don't turn round. We could see it crackin'.
To leave before it breaks,
Breaks my heart, but it feels like fate.
Tried to have faith, I made mistakes.

I guess that in the end, we took
What we could get, though there's
Still so many loose ends.
Looked for the closure,
I swear, felt it was getting closer.
Thought, we could make amends, make it better, make it to a better end.
I guess by now I've lost my friend.

Seems that now has turned to never.
So whatever. I tried my best.
I failed this test.

Shattered heart, I pick up the pieces.
Few more shards, and I'm back to being jus'
Who I am, who I'm at peace with.

I'd never be the same,
It won't be so seamless.
I look up, maybe one day I'll see
The one I need, my miracle seamstress.

For now, here I leave this.

Hey.
You probably won't see this,
But what I want to say is that I.
I hate you.

You're stupid.
Filthy.
Unreasonable.
There isn't enough words to describe your awfulnesses.

So why does it hurt?
Why does it hurt when I push you away?
Why does it hurt when you chase someone else?
Why does it hurt so much?

As much as I want to say 'I hate you!',
I realise that I.
I.
I love you.

It's stupid, isn't it?
If I told you this, you'll laugh at me.
Reject me. Pity me.
I just know you will.

And that's why I never told you.
That's why I kept pushing you away.
That's why I'm drifting away, drifting away
From my light. You.

But absence makes the heart fonder,
Doesn't it?
It hurts so much, it feels like I've
Left my heart behind. With you.

like the sun into the night you where gone
like a bird taking flight you where gone
like the moon in the light you where gone
only because I didn't open the doors for you
because I refused to give you the key
because I was scared
scared you'd do this to me.

Come on, tell me
the secrets you hold
the weight of your world
before you go cold,

I don't want to leave you
right here in the dark
when you've left a feeling
so clear and so stark,

You're so void of wonder
and now you're alone
You leave me at sidewalks
as you go and walk home,

You're falling apart
with your shards on the ground
But I do really need you
and I won't rest till you're found.