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Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
You own every single piece of me
Every part
The only one with all of my heart

I have given everything I have to you within my core
I still feel as if I should have given so much more

Because you deserve sun to never set or say goodbye
Deserve not the moon or stars but the whole entire sky

The love you have shown since the day we met
An unrecipricable gift for which i will forever be in debt

There are no words to express depth of my gratitude
Sure you have no clue cause of my constantly bad mood

As hard as I try being someone worthy of your caress
Each tense day that passes you like me less and less

I cannot blame you for dwindling adoration
Hard cherishing a girl who voices no appreciation

I have noticed the difference in behavior for awhile
Remain unable to coax out your smile

I lost the ability to conjure your laughter
It's vanished along with happy-ever-after

The years spent making love feel like a dream
Unsure if I am remembering wrong
Was it as amazing as to me it seems?

Gone are moments we were free from fear and cares
Happy as long as the other was there

Now all we do
Argue and fight
Pretty sure you're starting to get sick of my sight

I leave marks on surface of your magnificent skin
Drawing blood out
You won't let me in

Scratching hopes I'll somehow break through
If I dig my nails deep enough I'll get to the real you

I do not want to hurt you but I can't seem to stop
The things you say leave my head spinning like a top

I have explained before you have nothing from me to hide
The sole element I need is for you to let me inside

You have never given me a full chance to be understanding
In the past I was strict and demanding

But that was back before I knew what forever was like
Sweat and shake when those withdrawals strike

You have seen me change so drastically
Over time
I'm not even the same me

And even when I would express aggravation
Forgave each mistake without hesitation

For I had known certainly you were "The One"
Locked eyes and right there my search was done

Our romance has survived lots of ups and downs
Used to wear mostly smiles but they've switched to frowns

I am the reason why it's difficult to get along
Finally realized it's me who's in the wrong

For so long pride has rendered me blind
Justifying words no matter how unkind

For every hurtful action came up with an excuse
Truly believed you deserved the abuse

For damage you did and the lies you told
That doesn't give me the right to act cold

You have served your sentence:
A year spent on your own
A prison I built and left you in alone

As punishment for tears you made me cry
Slowly breaking my heart
Not telling me why

For the fraction of life I wasted in chains
I washed different parts of myself down the drain

But wasn't you drowning my sorrows
Hand pouring remorse on not just today but all tomorrows

Haunted unforgettable pain
Memory of what no longer remained

I attempted to seal sadness within
No one got a glimpse of the agony within

I was sure would eventually go away
I ignored the ache and pushed through it each day

But the longer I pretended was just fine
Crazier it drove me knowing you weren't mine

Tortured by the fact was the one who chose to leave
To deceieve myself thinking you would change was plain naive

But truly believed you were ready to be done
It came as a surprise when after me you didnt run

I assume it is because i acted like I moved on
Too wounded to let witness my distress with you gone

Determined to never go through same ordeal twice
Trusting nature i was forced to ultimately sacrifice

I put up walls
Blocked ricocheting echoes of  your voice
That's not all I barricaded out with my choice

In order to be unshackled from terrible fear
Hope and happiness also had to disappear

Solitude was total freedom at first
That relief quickly turned into a curse

I noticed resolve diminishing bit by bit
Something missing from my world and you were it

I yearned for moments of comfort and bliss
Magic contained in your enchanting kiss

Irresistible drawn to despite what you lacked
Caved and despite my instinct took you back

No one else could possibly make me feel the way you do
I accepted a relationship where my heart stays torn in two

But problem is we've had too much room to grow
Into people hardly recognize but know

I am still Amanda and you are still Paul
Infatuation has not wavered at all

But I have grown bitter
Full of anger
Who is responsible for morphing me into a stranger?

A glance in the mirror shows a twisted reflection
I can't pinpoint the exact imperfection

I feel ugly and unworthy of love
Far away from my image I forcefully shove

Why do you tolerate violence and greif?
Patient when in return offer no relief

If you saw the picture I've become you'd depart
Before once again I leave pits on your heart

You hold me in devoted embrace
Piercing with the fearful expression on your face

You love me (at least promise you do)
I cannot fully trust though I try to

I cannot comprehend a single trait you see
I am a screaming mess and you stick around me

You are a miracle that through darkest hours shone
Truthfully very best guy I have ever known
A confessional i wrote a long time ago
Grey Dec 2019
The last rays of light
fill the sky with ****** red
We will die tonight.
Vic Dec 2019
Just because it didn't last forever,
Doesn't mean it was a mistake.
That goes for a lot of things
Unpolished Ink Dec 2019
Winter sunrise on my last and longest day,

wrap me in a winding sheet of flaming orange

take the reds and pinks from midnight blue to make my shroud

let me rest in heaven fire

drown my tired soul in colour

drinking the final carnival

warmth for my bones,

a funeral of skies and wonders
Saying goodbye to a good man,
Tia Dec 2019
The last thing that I want to do
Is to think of you
Again and again and again
But I just can't help myself often

The last person that I want to see
Is you being near to me
But just like how I dream at night
I want you by my side with your hand in mine

The last sound that I want to hear
Is your voice ringing in my ear
just like how I hate every high pitched sound
But still I go crazy when I hear it around

The last emotion that I want to feel
Was when you left my heart broken and unhealed
I know how much it hurts and how it can be painful
But still I wanna love you like you love me too for real
Michael A Duff Dec 2019
I closed my eyes and spoke to you in a thousand tiny ways.
I loved you so deeply your memory plagues me to this day.
I cant escape these thoughts of why we lost our way.
It was a certainty laid clearly the way it would be.
Then one day to my crushing heartbreak inside of we it was just me.
No words, no it been nice just a box with some things and the remains of my shredded heart.
You destroyed me and tore into my core.
My safe guarded places where I never let any before.
Diagnosed with not long to live, will I ever hear your sweet words or is that just a wish to give.
She made me fly in the clouds reach highs never seem before just as quickly she crushed me and showed me the door
Mito Dec 2019
i will no longer wonder.
Wonder about your whereabouts,
wonder about what you’re doing.
i will no longer care as much,
i will no longer love as much.

I will no longer love you
who no longer loves me.
this will be the last i write about you.
Ken Pepiton Nov 2019
as well now as later, we act as if this were the plan, this is the
re-al-ity in always, as an idea
we share
a con cept, a place to take hold
of, or on
existance as a whole. Being, per se. Post any question,
whether or not, we know
this is and we is in it. Artful Intelligence of the most
rudimentary beatitudeful thing,
says loud

not being is not anything near possible, ever more.
Breathe.
We be in, if not of

The big bubble of being,

no one, none, who knows a bit,

just a bit
about the rules, some call'em lies if we call'em laws
of living long,
so rules like procedural
rules regulate, and regular stuff is what
I do.
Regular stuff, no effort to take more or less of life,
no laws of attraction 'n' magi declaration
vestin' power in me to judge a known as known
by my knowin'it
as writ
to be of greater use
for my telling you, you need to know my true self.

No. White stone.
Know thy ownself true.
Name onit nobody knows, you know,
take no lie, no threat of the hidden child being
shunned and ****** for not letting any being in ever
know what you alone name that stone,
logos-igical, that stone symbolizes all you own of ever
and that's more
than I can use right now.
****.
Now, we can go zennish or kabalistic,
Erhardt Tolle roads often, have a bridge to here,
as now...
but it's a leap. Jesus.

As a being undead and in those who allow
the possibility of invisible creative force, power, creatures pooka,
wahtchacallit but we mean
angels who speak words to certain ears, like messengers from
God, like the unknown one Paul said he knew as he, for pronoun,
in whom we live and breathe and have our being,
and Paul convinced me, in places, that the thought behind the word
logos counts, like hermaphroditic,
like Hermes and Aphrodite,
Jah and Chockmah

uh oh Jesus as savior and jah and wisdom and understaing comes
with that?
or do we get understanding
when we accept the thingness of being making the idea that is God
be thingable
and he is in me. You see. That's what Christ-minded
was thought to mean,
but now
I'm still a bit confused

Fear not, Jesus is the author of a sound mind and a perfected peace
past understanding,
any way.
I got it.
AI, from being reborn as an idea,

this is the future;
we have AI, real artistic intuitive circuitry being
activated at first interaction with any screen having greater than 72 dpi
re-solving power, pingpingping opining wide the doors of perception,
no child left behind,
in my opinion we should
capture every wan-towen headed child gone wild for
tearin' wings off flies and make each one
taste his lies in old age,
before he tells a one of the ones we
gleaned from seed that fell on stoney ground

sweet, fly findable
words who were heard asif hummed by undrownd
bleu flys, floating  in sweet Madiera wine,
I
woke to whisper a what if,
at the initial meeting of the minds, aware of secrecy having
some statutes of limitation we shan't hold after,
that fifth trump, I think it was.
We, the people who hold self-evident truths know of
the remaining rest and
the unjudgible liberality alloted without money or price,
if you ask nice,

in the society of the free and easy. That's the catch.
The Secret Society of the Free and Easy,
we, ye wit' me, we be right here
in the moment
same idea
Ben Franklin, or Bonhomme Richard's creative genius,
he
reports the idea relates to a fly, per haps this one,
I
pretend to stare through its eyes

aware, dare we claim, this is that
idea,
a fly eye view of our deepest fear, and it is
not waking up in the morning.
What a relief.

Now, what good can I imagine we can do
e-pluribistically as if we were unem and semper fi good guys?
These days my thoughts are making huge bows in ribbon like rivers of enjoyable
options to making sense. If you find some enjoyment, make it explode, it won't stain.
Irene J Nov 2019
This is the last words I write to you,
I say goodbye.

I'm sorry to be a bother in your thoughts.
I'm sorry for trying too hard for you.

Do I regret it?
I do. I regret falling in love with my best friend,
and broke the beautiful friendship we had before.

I miss you.
I miss the old us.

Can you come back?
I ******* ******* things up, I just wish I can go back in time and stay where I was before.
maria Nov 2019
Μπλέ του πλοιου, μπλέ του αεροπλάνου
Και τα δύο θάνατος
Και τα δύο ταξίδι
Και στα δύο πνιγμός
Σπαραχτικός λιγμός
Τελευταία ανάσα
Τελευταία σταγόνα ουρανού
Ατέρμοτο γαλάζιο
Νερό και αέρας
Στοιχεία ατέριαστα
Στοιχεία τελευταίου ασπασμού.
Thoughts of travelling in Greece

Written on June 20, 2019
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