Isn’t that what we all do?
We’re okay but we don’t think so
Minds getting hazy
A little bit crazy
Should we ask maybes
Or should we just stop talking?
I’ve been having a lot of arguments
In my head
I don’t know whose currently winning
A big joke that we make
We act we’re okay
But inside our soul is dead
Do we really heal or do we conceal?
Does time really heal or we get better at faking?
Are we really here or were just asleep dreaming?
So many thoughts
has been suppressed
In fear of people
Who often misunderstood
Most of the times
Feeling like a hypocrite
For trying to understand
What’s behind of a facade
What is on the other side
What has been beyond the line
Without the intention to meddle
But always caught up in the middle
I neither want to live nor die
And I don't want to lie
That **** scares me out
Knowing that I should be feeling either one
Have you ever felt that you don't care?
Not about the others but yourself
It's like you're just letting the water flow
Not minding if it leads you to a bay or your downfall
I feel quiet a bit adventurous
But I know these are dangerous
One wrong step would destroy me
in absolute pieces that you cannot count it
If it happens, it's okay I guess
I guess I just had to deal with the consequences
But is there even anything to fear?
I didn't even chose to live nor die, I just choose neither.
Let me paint you a picture
of how my heart was fractured
after you suddenly let go
while I'm tightly holding you
You left me with no goodbye
pushed me on the side
cut me off of your life
Now I doubt that my heart is still alive
Let me start with the blank canvass
Where you drew the night sky and the stars
Together with your promises and lies
As you avert your gaze to me and smile
You did it beautifully and gracefully
I kinda forgot how to breathe
for a moment as you lean
closer to pinch me on my cheek
Then you turn back to your art work
While I am here wondering what was that for
but my heart is happy I know for sure
so I didn't complain and let my head hung low
I was fidgeting my hands trying to calm
talking to myself to just breathe normal
asking my heart to please stop pounding
because I'm afraid you would hear it loudly beating
And then I started to panic
when you clasp your hand in mine
I started to hear my heartbeat in my ears
Then you dropped the bomb and I know my face turned white
Hopes and dreams are on the ground
along with it is my heart
and I can see it tearing apart
my legs getting weaker, I cannot stand
I actually fell with no one to catch me
I fell and you weren't there to catch me
I fell and I feel I'll be broken for an eternity
for the weak
who faced it
with shaking feet
for the wanderer
who left their home
to find their soul
for the unstable minds
that found courage
in a very unstable bridge
for the brave
As they face it
Even though they are afraid
a piece of cake
who've been in hell
for us to take
to summon the strength
we never felt
How did it start?
When did everything started to fall apart?
How did we manage to get so far?
So far, like the unreachable star
Is this how it will end?
Our broken hearts not having time to mend?
Are we sure about the paths we're taking?
Or are you also hesitating to continue walking
You know sometimes I just want to ask
Even though it sounds like a heavy task
"Can we at least pretend everything is fine?
And if we can, let's try to salvage us at the same time"
This isn't about me being the dramatic that I am
This is me wanting to know if this is really the end
Because in me, there's a hope that we still can
It's still waiting, hiding in its den
I sound pathetic don't I?
But we're hanging by a thread and I don't want this to die
I still want another moment of you and I
But if you don't, just please don't lie
The last thing that I want to do
Is to think of you
Again and again and again
But I just can't help myself often
The last person that I want to see
Is you being near to me
But just like how I dream at night
I want you by my side with your hand in mine
The last sound that I want to hear
Is your voice ringing in my ear
just like how I hate every high pitched sound
But still I go crazy when I hear it around
The last emotion that I want to feel
Was when you left my heart broken and unhealed
I know how much it hurts and how it can be painful
But still I wanna love you like you love me too for real