The light that is shining through my window
That darkness that is getting into every vein of my body

The water that is washing  my face
That water that is drowning me so far inside

The flower that is sprouting in every color
That color that is inside me is scattering somewhere

The breeze that just crossing me now
That  is  Getting heavy on my every breath

The man who is just passing by me
that idea that I'm not letting go of it anymore

The first word that my tongue is saying out now
That last words that  I'm writing  here

The greeting for which I was just giving my hand
That distance that  I am now  keeping from all of them

There I was in my almost clinical white coat
Looking like Yoko Ono, oh no, didn't realise it at all.
Strolling all around the front square,
You in that tan coat stood there,
Looking like something out of  Harry Potter, I presume.
I'd clocked you at the protest a year before,
And you fell for me that first day,
Early September, leaves not yet falling
Me eating an apple a day.
It was the last fruit of summer,
I was still in love with someone else
And as summer became autumn, and is now becoming winter,
I honest to god can't tell.
I can't help myself.
I can't help myself.

You in our second meeting- but the first 'meeting'-
Acting like my very existence was bad for your health,
All this merging and converging like its two countries joining together,
I knew that you liked me, in ways you've liked me forever.
But I wanted to make him come back to me, wished on a spirit
To take him back to me, wished for the truth and- what did I see?
The last fruit of summer, an apple tree.

I was so nervous, I bit my lip so hard it bled,
I come from the Hughes', I lie then, instead.
Your red filaments, burning, yearning, twisting, turning,
Kissing me and hugging me like you've never wanted to hold onto a thing so tight.
I feel like a wild horse penned in, flying by night.
Because I know that you're mad about me
Honest to god I wish I was too,
But I don't understand what stops me from letting go and loving you.

It was the last fruit of summer,
The final kiss from the earth,
I wore all black, you in florals
Me not knowing my worth.
I want to take it slow, and you agree,
You'd agree to anything I want because it's me.
You and your artistic set, fashion-obsessed,
Everything I could ever want, everything you could ever spend.
But nothing that I really do want, in the end.
And I ask for the truth, to the apple tree,
I tell them- oh god- is this ruining me?
I cut it and eat it piece by little piece,
'I can't help you, darling, so just sit back and eat.'

This is the last time our hands will touch
As I teach you to fold papers, clutch,
Patiently pull smooth hems, take it slow–
You say you’ll miss me. Oh, if only you know
How much I feel, how much I yearn,
For everything you are, but sadly, my turn
Has ended.

Can’t we stay for a bit more?
A second– a moment– is all I ask for.
But our time is up.
In absolute silence, stillness, my pain,
We fold the last lotus.

But it is too late to think of anything else.
Right now, folding lotuses beside you,
Let me enjoy your warmth, your voice,
Etch the contours of your face to my memory.
Let me love you eternally.
Before time takes us away, I pray,
I hope I will see you again someday.

This is my first
And last time noticing
How firm your body is.
Your back a slab of stone,
All hot flesh and bones,
With arms welded from steel.
Yet your heart is ice, winter,
And I know I am not there,
In the hearth,
When I pulled you into
Our last hug.