When I see her
My whole world expands
A stranger place when she's around
Except everything makes more sense
Somehow
I feel sick for a second, like north and
South have traded places
A wonderful vertigo and I embrace this Sickness everytime
I get anxious and feel alone a lot, until the Storm in my head passes and I remember
She's mine
Clear skies tonight gorgeous

She understands me,
To the best of her ability
Better than most
And she also feels as though
If she's mine, I'm hers
And there will be no middle man
This love is not a triangle
I'm hers only
We have both loved before
Having learnt to know exactly
What we need in love and want
Thanks to knowing
The difference between
The importance of love and
The futility of want
She is my true north

Sometimes I feel like
She doesn't love me the same
Just because love is love
And we can all feel it
Doesn't mean we all feel it the same
Like when I drink and pour my heart out
She drinks and just dismisses my pain
At least that's what it feels like
But I know she wouldn't think it
She'd surely disagree

She reminds me I have no demons
That I am but a man with feelings inside
Who rejects them through pride and
A hope that I'm strong enough
To cope without them
But you can't bare the weight of love
Without the love for love itself
We have a passion for struggle
A need to see things through
So I'll be okay,
I'm always okay with you

Prepare yourself,
this gets interesting












Have you ever imagined how a hanging body sways.
Back and forth
A human pendulum
The physics between each swing.
The noose,
The body
potential to kinetic energy
Over
And over
And over.
welcome
To the dark side of my brain,
The dark side of my art we call poetry.
This is the side not many see.
Because this side of me craves a bullet between my eyes,
My delicate blood to be splattered as artwork.
This is the raw side of me.
That i dont show people
This is terrible you could be thinking
Or...
You could be thinking
ive heard worse
And maybe so
But nothing is worse to me than wishing for ******* death,
Rather than looking at a ******* abuser one last ****** time!
ive had enough
And
I know im crazy.
But every human snaps...
Kind of like the time he snapped my arm
a slight pop
And
Ouch
A world of pain.
But stop,
And you could be thinking...
now what the actual **** am i reading
Allow me.
You are reading a lonely 15 year old boy's crazy side.
A side he can easily hide,
But has decided not too.
This is the thought of letting my inner self free just once
Letting my suicide revolver speak only in poetry just once
No,
If you actually care
Dont worry about me.
Im fine.
Im not gonna guzzle bleach
Pop a bullet
Or go for a physics lesson.
Nope im gonna keep living
And writing crazy **** like this.
Let my imagination, though dark it may be, run for a bit.
Heres the truth.
We all have a bit of this side in us.
We all have those thoughts.
Those whispers.
And i resist them, yes.
Because truth is,
its my inner brilliance
The fact that i let myself ease in to the darkness,
But refuse to let it controll me...
Its a true gift.
And i hide it
Behind a thin veil of happieness.
Because in the end,
Only a true lover can make these thoughts mend.
(Wait what the ****!?! Is this a **** love poem)
Ha!
Nope.
Well maybe a bit
Its just me
An average guy
Telling you,
Im lonely
Depressed
Insecure.
And i hope there is someone
To come with me
To be with me
To love me
To hold me
To make me feel whole again.
*do you believe someone could love such a wreched person like me?

I've fallen in love with faces on every street corner.
I've fallen in love with smiles in every cafe I wander into.

I fall in love with his eyes or that guys laugh in the mall or down the street.
I fall in love with her hands and that girls hair when I see them joking around.

Yet when I stop and take a moment to appreciate the beauty in everyone I meet; I find that I'm still a little lost without you.

I still glance up and wonder why it took so long for me to realize you're no good for me.
I still wish upon stars that maybe one day I'll love myself as much as I loved you and your flaws.

I hope to one day fall in love for real again.
To fall in love and have someone love me back with the same amount of intensity as I have for them.

Because you had such small amounts and I had the world.

He was so intense
His brow, forever cast down,
*Was always furrowed.

Your words crash over me like a tidal wave, and its taking me every ounce of willpower to behave. Your Intelligence is what drawed me in, your smile told me you'd be my favorite sin. Your eyes capture the beautiful colors of the stormy sea, and I'm ready for your stormy waters to come and drown me in all of your chaotic beauty

I want to feel your warm embrace as you pierce into my psyche with the intensity of a thousand suns in your gaze,
I want to explore every inch of you from body, soul, to your mysterious ways.
Even with the slight brush of your skin I can feel the stars collide and the cosmos emplode so violently the sky's shudder under its quake,
All these emotions and passion that I lost so long ago pouring in and causing my stomach to Ache.

Your soul is something so tragically and achingly divine that no human shall ever hold a candle to let alone deserve what you are,
Your movement flows like a river, steps quake the earth, and smile shines brighter then any Star.
I wish to hold your heart close to my chest and feel its rhythmic pulse as I set out to learn all of your secrets and fantasies.
I hold you high in my world but it would still bring you no justice, because **** those who choose to make people their worlds for you my dear are my entire Galaxy.

A rabid dog lies sleeping on the porch,
it has not moved for days
but i see it breathing.

the darkness spreads in
thick and heavy
taking my sight,
but i feel it,
grabbing me and pushing me down.

Now I hear it breathing. first louder then faster.
i begin to choke on the blackness, the fear of the unknown.
i crumble to the ground, melt, and disappear.

it is no longer asleep, i smell its poison breath around me like fog.
it's dense and fills my lungs.
i become a cloud of undefinable mass,
drowning those beneath me.

once i have purged, i am empty.
(i tell myself) nothing has happened.

the dog falls into slumber again.
dormant but breathing, slow and heavy.

Rhythm & Beats, take me over
Go through my temple
   through skin-deep,
   through my bones
             release your voice, EDM whispers

Tickle my bones,
    dance with me
    with your electric,
         wavey hands

Release my intense feelings,
     trigger every part of me,
       my hormones, my body
                   help me
                           *feel it

You live and you learn,
or you die and you burn,
either way you’ll get your answers,
don’t be so anxious you’ll get your turn…

so don’t be so concerned,
the rhythm is a dancer,
clip’s in clip’s out,
Guns & Moses in The Holy Land of White Powders and Black Panthers,
Black Sabbath,
bad habits,
religious ideology spreads like community cancer,
the oppressed becomes the oppressor,
the suppressed become the suppressors,
the best defense is a good offense,
so defenders became aggressors to defend against the aggressors,
while genetic defects leads to passive aggressive defectors,
which is why she watches the world die before her eyes,
and thinks it doesn’t affect her,
and you’re asking me why,
like I have all of the answers.... To Be Continued...

from THT

available now worldwide: www.amazon.com/dp/B01I4621OE