I've got everything figured out,
Now it dawns on me that all this time
I was being used! And I know that I
Was abused, but then all of a sudden
I feel IT...you know. That "feeling,"
That paranoid feeling that says "yea, and
You but you did this and that and the other
Thing, (I know what you did last
Summer) suuuuure. And so I sit
There re-ensuring all I had my
Needs, couldn't-no-wouldn't let
Myself be until I finally did "IT."
And then I realize I was right,
That I'm just being spooked by
People here who are trying to
Brainwash me at night,
Then it begins again, I knew it!
I was right, I was abused!
But then I feel IT again...

Ain't no way to hide those lyin' eyes...GOD I hate that song.

They were dying their hair
And shaving the sides
Just trying to find out
What felt right
They were piercing their bodies
And piercing each other
She loved him
And
He loved her

We circle our graves
poorly.
Without purpose or poise.
As the vultures
circle our bodies,
more knowing and keen.
As if the gods
gave them insight
as to when we'll fall
into a heap
of ourselves,
when the spiral tightens.

Like a cat
crouching low;
stalking.
Not because
it's hungry,
but because
it needs to prey.
The tiny movements
drive them mad.

I've never felt more alone
then I do
on those nights
when I lay awake
watching you sleep.
The tiny movements of your chest
as it rises
and lowers again.
The predator inside me
bristles with curiosity.
The same madness
that overcame the cat.
And I distantly think,
I know now what drives them.

I must have startled you
because you awoke
and turned on your side,
cracked eyes searching,
looking concerned
and frightened.

When she asks,
"Is something wrong?"
I think,
"Oh yes, it's more terrible than ever."
but say,
"No, it's nothing."
But it certainly is
something.

She kind of laughs
like we do
when nothing is funny.
Which is fine.

Because it isn't.

I woke up at four o'clock
On a winter morning,
My thoughts begged me to leave you
Instincts like brakes blazing hot  
Heart no longer pleading so hard to stay.
I woke up at four o'clock
On a frigid morning,
Trying to act the same exact way.
Hands shaking with the thought of action
Attempting to calculate how you'd react and
I think I scared logic away.
I woke up at four o'clock
On a starless morning,
I think you thought I'd stay
These shaking hands and weary feet
They've traveled far, and learned some things,
You see, five o'clock is looking up,
(I've walked long, and I've walked hard)
And my heart is finally catching on,
With the sunrise on the horizon.

We all can love and care about another as much as our heart* will allow; but when the people we love or care about does not feel the same... it  leaves us all alone with the feelings we STILL have for those people.  At a dead end, with no answer or directions on which way to turn.
                         It's always been an ugly truth that our heart's* wanted to hide from.
             Our heart* already knows the pain that it's about to endure... everyone was born with that.
         Our heart's* know instinctively to sense the emotional feelings from the other person or persons involved... whether we know it yet or not...  rejection is soon to come...
   Most people blow off the feeling of their heart* being swallowed by their stomach when something is gonna hurt their emotional state & somehow that percentage of people make it transparent to their every sense for the rest of their lives; Just so they can have control over the way they feel... still ignoring the fact that they're wasting precious time in their life... when they could be using those senses to wait for the right feeling to come along...
    We hurt ourselves even more by denying that feeling from ourselves; over and over again... running into the same thing; the same feeling of being sad, the feeling of broken heartedness, the same emptiness & loneliness.... over and over again, wondering when the cycle will break.
    In the long run though... after running around and receiving all that heartache and love-dump... we eventually end up sitting all alone contemplating... wondering what happened... and finally it dawns on us... we knew something would go wrong before it even ever did, because of that weird feeling our heart had that we'd ignored. Never ignore something that comes to you so naturally... that's what separates the best from the rest.
      ~Fresh off the Cut on~
              ~07/08/14~
        ~From The Mind of...~
            ~Crystal Rose~
  
=the brain----- a heart can't truly sense anything but blood pumping thru... the brain is what links these emotions to our mind and body and makes it feel like we're sick from our attached feelings of attraction being rejected.

Copyright

I need to stand out
Like typos in a paregraph

All I want to do is be.
To live as close as I can to free,
and know what it's like to taste, smell, hear and see,
and to touch things that live, like a bird in a tree.
But they are not only birds, things that live and int'rest me,
things that are alive come from the land, air, and sea.
To say one form of life is the best, would be a travesty,
For what can make a bird more alive than a bee?
I draw great joy and comfort from life's diversity,
but not only in difference, is founded my glee.
There are things the same in lifeforms, from elephant to flea,
like how we rush to please our instincts, so compulsively.
But unlike the lustful wants of others, humble is my plea,
to pass this genuine love for life from my own, on to thee.

I want me and thee to be free to see an end to travesty and plea that adversity flee, for we to love compulsively and treasure our diversity, live a life so full of glee, that it will suffice to just be.