I've been thinking about death a lot lately, but no. I don't want to die. I think about death as a concept like...
What happens when I die? No... things like Heaven. I do believe but more like... What now? What of this earth? What of the people? What is one less person?
What is the impact. Ah, yes. That is it.
Will anyone remember? Remember me for cutting my hands often? Having Band-aids wrapped around any finger? Being short-tempered? Listening to punk music and pretending that I am one? I am not sure about the pretending part though... What about the books I read that no one has ever heard of? Because I just pick them at random at a random time at a random bookstore on a whim on a bad day on a day where home isn't home.
I'm sorry (laughs).
Oh, where are you headed?
Oh, it's fine. Me?
Will my family still use lemon-scented laundry soap? Lemon-scented bath soaps? Lemon-scented aerosols? Lemon-scented bathroom deodorizer? Lemon for the water. Lemon for the tea. Oh, and for the toilets and bathroom floor... Lemon-scented thick bleach?
I'm sorry (laughs).
Lemon is just a scent... a memory from childhood. A candy a summer day a sun-smelling bike ride a nothing-to-do-just- lie-down-on-the-floor kind of day I've been obsessed about it lately. Maybe because I read it in a poem. Something about scrubbing your clothes clean till they smell like lemon.
Oh, do you have to go now?
Well, do take care and see you soon. Thank you for listening I hope you'll like the smell of lemons from now on.
This femme fatale A girl that captures She be bright and skin tight Shiny white with youth implied Conversing in quirky loops As we jump through her hoops Slowly showing error codes Could it be the alcohol Clap snap of bear traps Broken from within Signs of white lines that fracture Reactions to vast echoes of her past Trauma tinged before the dawn Soft but informed A hardened persona with claws
Mind so simple Deceived by a touch so sinful Body so light Barely put up a fight Limbs so fragile Pain wrought so tactile Shrieks so agonized Muffled to be disguised Eyes so refined Leaving ****** tears behind
A mind so broken That can't be awoken A body so torn There's nothing but forlorn Limbs so disfigured Scarred an injured Eyes blank from the backlash Remain wide open in the aftermath
Whispering lies Evil in disguise A smile so vile That bewitches and beguiles Cold deceiver Gullible receiver Lifeless eyes That never cry Gleam only with hate To those who dare to debate Against her reign Of endless pain Living solely For her and her only This Queen of discipline With a broken soul within Secretly pleads To be released From her personal hell From which she fell Under his spell Only to lose all sense of self Desperate and alone On her unwanted throne She weeps alone