I craft my love
From words and dreams,
Forgotten, bygone memories.
And of this life, Real Love knows not.
I am to him a Time Forgot.
He left me picking pieces, changed
He lives in my mind, I lie deranged
Sobbing and writing all over the floor
You left too soon, Love. I need more.
I resurrect you from the dead
And spill my heart to the you in my head.

So I wrote you
But perilously;
For you, in your brilliance,
Unwrite me.

two syllables
never left your tongue
you sung it
like a song
stuck in your head

a constant reminder
that I was the one
you were talking to
when you followed
with three more words

it was never the way
you said my name
but the way
you never made me
forget it

My brain,
a mess, when u visually see;
it looks like a scrambled mess,
All the wires confused,
No messages seem to be getting through.
No sense is made, going backwards and forwards and everywhere inbetween.

I feel like my brain is full of wool,
tangled ball, a ball of wool.
Needs pulling through
Unwinding,
Writing,
Helps with this.

Enables a process.

Unwinds the tangled heaped mess.

As I write, the wool is being pulled out my head.
A finger on either side, carefully guiding it out,
Pulling the scramble from my brain, making it tidy again,
All the perfect colours are coming through; purple, pink orange and blue, these are the colours of the wool.

The colours of my heart come too, come oozing out in the wool.
It is being pulled so fast, I see pink, red, more red too.
It feels like I am bleeding for you.

Changes to Yellow bright in the sky, remembering all the beautiful times;
I hit a knot, then it turns black,
like being trapped in a dark scary spot.
The black continues, then its green, full of envy and jealousy, jealous of me, my friends and job. So sad, it really was.

I keep pulling at the wool;
the colours are coming, more sense is too;
unwinding the wool from between my ears.

Poetry such a beautiful art,
Feeling calmer now,
a sense of serene,
The feeling coming over me,
Thanks to my love of thee.

I walk alone down an empty hall.
I hear the voices behind me.
Every step I take they become louder and louder;
I quicken my pace.
My footsteps echo around me
As my feet hit the floor.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
With every step, they grow louder.
With every step, the voices scream.
They scream until I can no longer hear the footsteps.
They scream telling me to stop.
I reach the door...
My hand rests on the rusted golden ****.
My breath catches in my throat,
I can feel as my hands become clammy, and
Sweats comes down my forehead in beads.
My eyes dart from side to side-
The voices still screaming.
"You can't leave"
"You won't go"
Voicing my doubts and insecurities.
They scream inside my head!
They yearn to tear me down;
To create this void of darkness that I am constantly trapped in.
Oh, that void,
A place of emptiness;
Full of darkness.
A place where the voices thrive-
Picking up on every single thing
And using it all against me.
A place that I refuse to go back to.
So, as my eyes focus on the rusted ****
My hand reaches out.
I stretch my fingers and clasp them around it.
Feeling the coldness of the metal shock my body.
I rotate my hand 90 degrees,
The **** creaks and groans as the door is opened.
Automatically I swing the door open
I hear the voices start to quiet.
I take one step,
Then two,
Then three.
I breathe in the fresh air;
My lungs fill up.
A cloud of smoke appears as I release the air trapped inside.
I start to walk,
Leaving my anxiety-ridden mind behind.

his head was full of air
eminent domain he had shared;
as though the wind had yelled
King Almighty, are you there?