Looking at these walls filled with  sickness in every room, I can't help but wonder what is going through your mind.
A thousand questions I know is  running through my mine.
How did you get to this point of giving up and cause your own defeat,
Was there something  I could have done or said or something I didn't do? Did  you give up when I moved away, did you think I gave up on you?
Such a beautiful soul that lost all her will to live.
I caught myself when i started questioning God why.
Why did they have to take your leg when you had already lost your ability to walk
It's like He opened a book and made it so clear to me.
There you are laying in that hospital bed shining like a star.
The light I thought was gone forever is all that I can see.
You may have lost a small part of your leg but you gained your will to live.
You woke from your nightmare of giving up on yourself .
Now you are chasing your dreams and setting goals, you are finding your self worth.
It won't be long and we will be walking along the beach of the oceans sand.
I'm forever by your side as God will guide your way, if you should fall don't give up just reach up and grab God's hand .

Women´s Day
today is not Friday the thirteenth
but Thursday the 8th of March
not yet April
but March will stir his tail still

Women's Day, what a weak name
we thought it brings us fame
not noticed in all those years
the bullet went through the church, so many tears
yet our fate remained the same
mother, partimer....no one to blame.
THE Government perhaps?
Ah, there are still too many men inside that "house"
IF they choose, always for the man first, of course
WHEN will most women seek a job in da Government?
Then your salary will increase,
your societal position will alter
of course not that ease
BUT women ought to choose first
the highest job in da Government
for this, we must have brains and be graduated
then our voice would be heard
throughout the world

at least ten years bail
for the male
who abuses ****** or with words only
his wife
I never mean to hurt the warm-hearted male
who must undergo abusive tortures of his female

I like to sit right, and make things be right,
not only for abusive men
but also for women with strong hands
who may be abusing her man all her married life
that´s why she should never be his wife
sure there are women who can only beat, beat and beat!
Then I have true pity for that man´s ability

well ladies around the world
sit straight or only on the right or on the left
for the photo, with a true sincere soul

wishing you all
here on HePo and around the world
a Happy and cozy Women´s Day!
The rains though smallest drops
make today a miserable Women's Day

the bright sun has disappeared
weeks long we have the brightest and sunniest days!
OK, wishing you all nice gatherings together
and drinking tea with sweet ginger-cookies
don´t  forget Grandmother's apple pie
in her time women are only smiling and be shy
can we imagine that for all things only nodding and agreeing?
Not one rimple-dimple of rebelling?!

Of course not, they haven´t known those emotions did exist
that´s why nowadays, and at present, it is a bliss
to be called a wo-man and not a she-man
oh dear ones, I do and try to write here all that I can.

my premier poem about Women´s Day
yes, they accept the lesbian and the gay
the transgender must stay at bay
their problem could be discussed
in the next generation, what a fuss!

but even though a Happy Women´s Day
to all kinds of women who are walking this way.



Sylvia Frances Chan
AD. Thursday 8 March 2018

Why do I try with you?
I can never win.

It's like building up the biggest sandcastle so far away from the ocean,
Yet you bring a bucket full of water and pour it out until it's just mush.
It's like fixing up a heart that is barely beating almost to full recovery,
Yet you grab it once again and dig your nails into it until it withers.
It's like bringing my head up from the tides to breathe for air,
Yet you grab my head and push me back down into the water.
It's like being worn out from a long day walking drenched by my rain cloud,
Yet you barge into my safe home with words as loud and hurtful as thunder.
It's like quieting the sad blue baby to sleep after hours of constant crying,
Yet you wake it back up once again with your own terrifying screaming.

Only I am the one crying until I awaken with puffy red eyes.
...
It just feels unfair and frustrating,
to feel so high and crash back down in a matter of seconds.

It's always the times where I feel alive, where I feel like I can walk.
And then I feel your hands push me back onto the ground,
As I listen to you blame me for not standing strong enough.
How doing this will leave me permanently scraped on the knees.
How my weak knees will force me to become a failure.
...
Sometimes I wonder how life would be without you.
Would I be happy? Probably, but my mom wouldn't.
It's the lesser of the two.
The latter of who is most important.
It's either the one you fell in love first while the other was forced.
It's abandoning the one that has less to lose.
The potential gain you receive from the kisses my mom gives you.
and I am the opportunity cost of your relationship with her, it seems.
You chose this life, yet you act like you despise it.
It makes me fear growing up, if growing up means to become cold and erratic.
...
Everyone wonders why it all affects me so much.
Very rarely do I get a break from the endless vast that holds me in its arms.
But when its tired arms puts me down, I'm able to walk freely.
I can breathe again, I can feel again, I can smile again, I can be me again.
Until you command the vast to hold me much tighter than before.
And I drink in the vast and let it soak into my brain as it leaks out my eyes.
And I can't help but do what I'm conditioned to do: blame myself.
I'm just the loss from the gain.
the chaos from the calm.
the bad from the good.
the pain from the pleasure.
the black from the white.
the second from the first
and let me tell you...

2nd *****,
But you wouldn't care.