I thought I could find it with you,
although there was peace,
unluckily never found freedom in the end.

memories on the floor—
scattered and crumpled
from the sheets I used to write
too puzzled yet remained mysterious
but searched everywhere for something I couldn't found
from where it all had begun—
of how I fell in love with your cruelty — your cruel kindness.

touched the light,
crossed the line,
fell in love,
but not at the exact time,
fell in love again,
broken and torn into pieces,
oh, to love,
beautiful and appeasing,
yet full of bittersweet moments and memories,
should have known better,
we were just kids who were once in love,
but fated just to be strangers [again].

hard to be-
a decent human being,
i guess life *****,
so i'll just become-
a vile human being.

in my dreams,
you were there,
and as I wake up,
you are still there,
but in someone else's presence.

I am so weak
I am so pathetic
I am so... hurt by giving too much affection and care,

why can't I just happy?
why I am like this?
do I really deserve this after all of what I gave?
must I just drown myself and perish from these intolerable thoughts?