I'm pulling myself from the cracks
of this apartment.
Scraps of memories,
tell-tale signs of my life.
It's not a harsh break up,
just a "it's-a-long-time-coming"
kind of thing.

I found a new space,
ready to be filled with loving,
songs, art,
a place to share,
to unfold,
to start.

this time last week,
i was curled up in a ball on my bed
trying to get through my latest
mental breakdown.
i did get through it, just like ones before last week.
i'm in a spot in my life where
stepping outside onto the deck feels...
fresh and awakening, rather than debilitating.
going to my class felt new and inspiring,
rather than repetitive.
seeing you after waiting all week felt
euphoric & satisfying.
i'm at a point in my life where
i can start to pinpoint where things started going wrong.
so now, i'm making them right.
i'm thankful for it.
i'm thankful for everyone who helped
me realize that there are
things to be thankful for.

Still I cry

Remembering everything

Preventing myself from moving on

No matter how far I've come,
how much time has passed

It's still there, like a fresh wound

Every day is a battle against the past

I'm a prisoner of our memories

As he walked out the door
I took a deep breath
It was the end
But it was also the beginning
A fresh start
So to say
And I have the power
To do with it
Whatever I want

what, already
that aroma;
not a single spoon
of sugar:
the better
the awakening;
my coffee grinning,
shaking me

there's no way
to backtrack;
I'm sipping from b-cups,
kicking into gear...

flash forward;
(flesh in the background)
absentmindedly
chasing destination
instead of destiny,
always in a hurry

coffee drops
now drying up
disheveled,
the only ones
still keeping
memory of lips
retreating
like the waves
caressing shores
goodbye

long gone is
the reflection
undulating eyes

thoughts are perched
on mornings:
the old ones,
the upcoming...

Focus on the good, and
Remove the bad/negative in your life. Look with "fresh
Eyes" and
See the beauty that this world
Has to offer.....

Except we're destroying our world and each other
Yet no one cares. We need to wake up, and
Each of us make a change---Together we can
S**top this and make our world better!

one day everything will be just how i like it.
itll be warm but not too much.
the bed will be soft and so will the duvet and the light
and you'll be right there by my side.
because we know what we have.
our bond our trust will exceed all else.
ill have no words to describe how i feel but one.
an album actually not so much a word.
blonde.
ill feel like summer and new opportunities and lost loves and achingly sweet heartbreaks.
ill be scarily tranquil. a feeling that is greatly unbeknownst to me.
still ill have no words to describe how i feel but my favorite color.
ill feel like the color of sunsets and fire.
ill be a warm yet dusty orange.
so light and airy youd almost think i was a simple pink.
and this is what happiness will feel like

I'm finally changing
the sheets
from the bed you slept in.
smelly dirtfilled rags

it took me a long time
to change those sheets you slept in
even dust and dirt
felt warm like home

I don't try to wash them
wouldn't remove the stains
I wrap a torch in linen
and light up my flame