Twelve seconds left
To fix the world.
Start from within,
The rest will follow.

Your heart has holes
From the knives of past
Stabbed in maliciousness
Punctures that remain
Help in compassion
Trust in loyalty
Bonded in pain
All the good sent your way
seeps out of the holes in your heart
Nothing can ever stay

© Jl 2016

I don't know how
To tell you why
The days move slow
And so do I
Drawn out in your parlor
I am drunk off a memory
I am drink off the thought of putting my fist straight through your head
I can't forget any word of what you said
Honest open I showed you my world and you promised
You promised
But I'm the one you wanted to fill the void no I'm not the one you needed
I was your toy
And the date is set
The bed is made
Your heart is set
And I shouldn't have stayed this long
I'm just too busy picturing a 1000 forms of revenge
While you're too busy talking about the lines of your new dress
Spinning twirling the focus of the party
You talk over me and I sit complacently ready to tear you apart
You took root in my heart and walked away time after time after time
But the difference is that I'm big enough to recognize what fault is mine
So I'm seasick listening to the harrowing details of your relationship with god
All your devoted disciples sit at your feet so isn't it odd that
My fingernails are digging into the inside of my palms
Isnt it strange that
I'm acting like something is wrong
But as you continue to spit **** to all our mutual friends at somebody else's birthday party
I've decided that I will let you have no part of me
And so it's 2am and I'm coming clean in your doorway
I'm a mess of track marks and contraditctions but all I can say is
You're not my fix
No you're not my fix anymore
You're not my fix
I'm not your girl anymore
The date is set but I'm not coming around
No I'm not coming around anymore.

After a few days in bed
And finally reaching help
Upon hearing the news
I've decided that this is how it will be

This is my life
Unable to talk
Unable to move
I am to be worthless

But fate, it seems,
would have something very different to say on the matter
Because fate stepped in,
in the form of a Father.

My family was sad, but my dad knew what i needed
He found an orange, he knew we could beat it
He would hit me with the orange
Trying to **** me off

Telling me to catch it
In my head i would scoff
He said "Use your right hand"
I though he was a bit off

Angrily I worked
Just to get him to stop
Until finally one day
The orange had been caught

-Brian Patrick O'Connor SR.-

Sometimes I wonder if a man can change
Truly
Can he become more?
Can one simply decide that the point has been reached?
That there's simply nothing left to lose, and no lower to descend.
Does he then, simply shed the burdens of a lifetime of errors?
No.
A man must carry the full weight.
He must claw, he must fight his way out of the depths.
He must surrender to none, he must fight to climb.
And in the journey he finds.
The climb is endless.

-Brian Patrick O'Connor SR- 2016

I've left my footprints in the sand
Feeling your warmth leave my hand
I stop to soak in what has come and gone
Feeling alone and withdrawn

I'm bombarded by vicious visuals of my living fears
and everything I could ever revere
I'm a glass tank with only one shot
For the pain, I'll give you what I've got

Take me and my lacerated soul
Find the glass that cuts the deepest hole
Just be gentle with your hand
I'm at my most vulnerable and at your command

In return I'll love you to a fault
I'll bath you in my returning light as a result
You save my life every day, with nothing to even say
I even fell in love with myself today

I left my footprints in the sand
And felt the warmth return to my hand
I stop to soak in what has come and gone
Feeling more alive every waking dawn

Wearing the fakest smile just to hide the pain,
I know that you feel it everyday,
I’m sorry it hurts, but life just happens that way,
I know it could **** you, but please just lose the fear,
It’d go real easy if you just shed it like tears,
How can’t you see that you’re still alive,
Even if you feel dead inside,
Don’t worry baby I could heal your wounds,
If you’d just let me really see you,
I could heal you,
And I’ll try to,
I could fix you,
If you want me to,
It may seem scary,
What I’ll have to do,
Baby I could heal you,
But who's going to save me?
Who's going to fix me?
You want to but you just can't,
I'll already be gone.

she glanced up at the shelf hovering above her daughter's bed.
the digital clock was dimly lit.
"I can't read the time on that clock. It's junk," she thought aloud.
"Me neither. It was a good clock when we first bought it," the girl replied.
her daughter took the sad clock into her hands
and handed it to her mother.
she in turn fumbled with it as best as she could,
and found a button on the back labeled "brightness"
and upon pressing it, the clock lit up again.
her daughter smiled weakly.
"You fixed it, mom. Thank you," she said.

"I wish there were other things I could fix, too," her mother whispered.

Center of the day begins to unfold

Already gone through the marshes and mixes

Alive & full,

Lick our lipses

Do what we can to get our fixes

Skin as oily

as Honeydew

You caught me in a full-on looptiloo