There's so many different paths I want to run down,
Different places I yearn to see.
I'd like to live somewhere beautiful
Where I can simply be

I fight with myself over the fantasies I keep,
Sometimes I'm sure I'll live somewhere far,
I could have a chicken or two,
My dog could enjoy a huge yard.

Other times I know deep down,
I need convenience and I'd surely fail
Without being somewhere crowded,
Delivery is a privilege.

I don't want the middle between these two places,
Because suburbia was depressing,
Living only two inches away from a bustling family,
I didn't like the times I lived with mine there.

I'd need space undoubtedly.
Then the absurdity starts showing,
I think to myself.. I'll find an abandoned city
Maybe a desserted town like the ones tiktok shows me.

I could pretend I'm in my own story
And the empty streets would be my own
I could wander these houses and see what was left behind...
I think it sounds silly but, it always comes to mind.

If I could live in the house of my dreams
It would be somewhere unimaginable
Underneath the deepest seas.
I'd have glass walls, and a ceiling made of stars

I'd wake up to see jellyfish blooms
And sit in awe, nothing to do
I could swim to the surface somehow
And watch meteors fall

I think what I truly desire
Is somewhere comfortable
Where I can imagine these wishes
Without being bothered by time, or people who don't really care

Or maybe I belong on another planet,
Because I feel alien everywhere.

Six children and a suburban home
Don't it hurt you to see me like this?
One of yours, and still so alone?

First daughter assigned third wife
I've done it all wrong again,
Haven't I?

Sprawled all across this spiky green turf
Drinking up the merciless sunshine
Trying to keep it down

Weeping about my friend's father
Watching for a hint of remorse in your stern frown
I wait for you to ask for my forgiveness
Go on, ask
Let me for once be the one to deny

To my father, who loves telling stories

Pomegranate seeds,
splatter over the countertops
your laughter heightens their fragrance
a dish rag in my hands
a halfway story exaggerating between your lips
mouthfuls and mouthfuls of past
something so simple about this morning
a togetherness of complex mirage
sun pierces through this sinking heart
and a strong desire to ease the pain
that has sunken into the cracks
overcomes me
I wonder what love is,
If it exists beyond this moment as anything true
and you, still lost in your narrations
tell me all about living
and this wondering finds ease
just as I, in your presence

Why,
Can't I,
Bare the truth?

It seems that the trees
Know more of my roots.

For outside,
Is safe,
To no worries or feuds.

But I,
Must hurry,

To a home with no hue.

mi casa es mi casa
i dream of family
slowly all pass

Lost childhood
a shattered snow globe on the floor
enchanting glitter and broken glass,
swirling in a mass, I find no cure.
Swept up the shards
that faintly jingled while being discarded
cut myself cleaning the mess
and it scarred
a surface of me that must stay hardened.

So independent
I can live on my own
don't know what is best
but it's better unknown.
I am shaped the way you had me sculpted
I've got a sharpness deep inside
here's the woman that has resulted
from a young girl's need to hide.

Mom
I brought a portrait photo of you
with me to art class
the teacher said
I looked just the same
everyone always told me I was like my dad
I was so happy to be beautiful, that day.

and I know you've said you don't understand poetry
so I'll say it easy
I love you so much
I hope you don't hate me
for what I used to be.
Forgive the broken snow globes
I have already forgiven the memories.

I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.

The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.

I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug

But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you

Now you're gone