Here’s another day to breathe
With fewer yet to be
Set the time for better eves
But do not wait for me

Justify the game we made
In wallowing the fear
Pretending limes are lemonade
As weeks turn into years

Through a friendly daze to weave
Conceal the feelings known
But promise not to wait for me
Until I’ve fully grown

Yes, you can keep your eyes at sea
As countless tales may go
But darling, do not wait for me
For I may never show

Broken, bludgeoned
bitter curmudgeon
false teeth, fake smile
as I walk the extra mile
just to please you
and I'm quickly finding
that it's not my style

show me
how to be

what I need
who I am
why I care

when's the new?
where am I?

Either vent out whatever is boiling inside you and extinguish that fire that is burning your soul and heart or keep quiet with deliveries of fake smiles and live your whole life as a pyre.
Choose wisely !

My life is private, my secrets drenching in hopeless fear.
I express out loud, longing for admiration.
Yet, I hold everything in, saying nothing, no word my tongue could ever expose.
Fake friends, liars, backstabbers...
They only miss me once I’m gone.
I left, secretly disappeared without a knowledge to anyone.

But once they know I’m gone, is when they start to miss me.
I’ve moved on, left the city and started new in a different one.
I left like the wind with a cold dryness in the air.
Unspeakable, they only coming back cuz they know I’m not around.

Incomplete, I’ve learnt to never trust anyone ever again.
Deep thoughts hit and I know what’s going to happen before it does.
Caused by experience, pain, loss, and abuse.
I avoid it all, and seclude myself in my mysterious fantasies that will never come to my reality.
I live life in despair, knowing that I’m the curse, the darkness itself.
I’m the person who’s devil you speak the name of.
I’m your nightmares in your lost daydreams.

Too much intensity, I may be trouble.
But my deceiving nature has you thinking otherwise... doesn’t it?

Maybe it’s just thoughts of people talking about me constantly, even though it’s not real.
Nothing is.
My illusion is my nightmare and my delusions is my reality.
Im never going back.
They probably never going to see me ever again, but I guess it’s satisfying to make them think otherwise.
To make them think that I still love them and we probably still friends.
But when I was around, where were they without my effort?

Without my effort, everything is at loss.
I prefer to label these people as my aquaintances.
Calling them my friends is just a facade to cover up my intense loneliness caused by my experienced deep ridden trust issues.

I have no friends.
I like it that way.
I stay detached cuz people are worthless to me.
I like being alone, it’s my new cure.
With my seclusion, I am nothing more to be.

If I call you my friend, please don’t get confused when I ghost you and never actually talk to you, but I end up coming back few months later saying how much I miss you and love you.

Don’t we all do that?
This darkness of truth and lies all hidden inside of us.

Disappearance, keep your distance.

I dive,
into the oceans for her eyes.
No coming back but staying there alive.
A fake smile,
a pack of lies.
Her jewel was her pain.
If her life were a cloth,
it'd be full of stain.