Every time I see you, I feel regret, I messed up
And I can’t fix it because you’re with her and you’ve moved on
I can’t help, but still love you, I don’t want to
But I know that I do, why can’t I move on?
Why did you have to move on to her?
Why’d you have to get your fairytale?
Why am I the only one without her happily ever after moment?
You get yours, she gets hers
It seems like everyone has their
Happily ever moment, except me
And I want mine
No, I deserve mine

Even if I can’t have you
In the end, even when my heart is blocked
By the wall of sad connection
I will love you
In this place
where I can just watch you
Because you’re my everything

Will you ever remember
The Spring times
We swallowed butterflies so often
Our stomachs refused to digest them
And the cold Winter days
The sun hid behind the clouds
And cried heavy rain
Utterly jealous of the heat
We made each other feel.

Will you ever remember
The early mornings
You swore
Your love was pure
And each time
You promised me eternity

Because this is not what I see
Nor is it what you want of me.


F.Z.N

Each day I think it will finally happen.
Expectations lead to disappointments.

Blood drips down on the glass.
Blood stains are spotted down town in the chambers of anticipation.

Your DNA covers the walls of my heart.

I tried wiping your blood off but it keeps filling up the god ****** bathtub.

Call me Dorian.
Scream my name.
Your blood offends thousands.

Repeat my name and stop slashing your own wrists. Grab mine.

I taste your blood. It's made of prayers and goodbyes.

I built you a temple.
Your blood stains the windows.

Cover up.

I lick the temple clean with the honesty of a preacher.

Don't go home empty handed.
Don't stay fully packed.

You spoke
  Hands on my hips
   Threw luscious
       Fingertips
  And malt
Flavored lips
   Always
      Only after
                       One
                            Two
                         Many
                               Sips

               What lies  
           In the lines  
       Had been spilt
            Many times      
                   Threw
          Lush's lips
   & *****
Fingertips
              Only
                      Ever
                          After
                      One  
                           Two  
                      Many
                           Sips

The steps still creaked 
Even though the breathe on my neck has been stale for a week
I miss you more than ever
Severed by ties uncompressing measures
I just want you to come back home
I can show you how much Ive grown
So much I can show
Im a different person, 
I learned from my mistakes and less will be made
Without you
Is like driving on the fumes of gasoline 
From which has become empty 
Right before you drove to end of the earth with me
We’re different from other couples
Without all of the *******
Without any titles
Were just homegrown lovers caught between the cycles
Of peace and suffer 
Life or death
Love or Hate
Its not that the world is a bad place but sometimes Im left with a bad taste
In my mouth I can still feel your tongue ever so soft rolling around
As does mine
Feeling your heart beat as we disregard the oh so punctual time
It doesn’t matter when Im with you
We could drive with no destination
Talk with nothing thought of as a conclusion
You know what I mean?
Something about you changes me
Like the sun when it sets on the trees
Do you remember that day?
It was perfect
Everything Ive ever wanted
Just the two of us watching the verses of the world change
Into a symphonic chores blowing our minds to an oblivion away
If only you could see what I see
What crawls in the bed with me
Just to feel my ever rising heart beat
I miss that
I mean,
I miss you
I miss you more than ever
The way your smile crinkles your nose 
Your eyes so bright when we used to get ******
Together!
Soft meadows of apple blossom skin,
Just a touch and Im off on a binge
I can’t get enough of the way you make me feel
Your love is truly my drug
Im sorry for yelling
Im sorry for telling you all of those things I didn’t mean
In a way that made you slam the door and leave
Me alone
In this house, just a haunted memory of a door being closed and you’re gone forever
Nothing but the memories to make me better 
Only for a moment
Like a cigarette you think you’ll just have one
You think it’ll be fun
But then your hooked
I know this seems crazy
I know I wouldn’t say it
I was scared you wouldn’t believe it
I was scared you might forget it
But I love you with more of my heart then I can handle
I feel myself slipping away as though the sedatives have finally found my still so sober veins
I might not wake from this
I might not see you again
Just promise me one thing
Love with all your heart, and soon birds will begin to sing

Sure she never said she loved me, 
But It felt real didn't it, 
Everything feels ******* real, 
This is real life isn't it, 
How can something be fake in a world so real, 
Its like a time bomb ticking, with a letter that pops out that says just kidding, 
And as you read it, you seem to dream of how it would be
How you would be, if nothing ever happened in the way it seemed, 
So can my thoughts be traced back to you and me, 
Seeing you scream as you woke up from a dream, 
I lean over to kiss you, but ended up missing you
As I fall asleep alone, with no one that loves you
I mean me

Day, night again the day and night rounding
I can’t break your thoughts at all
It seems a true loop ever -

@ Musfiq us shaleheen