I remember the last note I wrote,
where he poured venom in ink
scribbled words placed blankly
at the tip of Saturday’s tongue
A mouthful of madness intertwined
between two diverging lives
as returning innocence sparked
cigarette, after cigarette

The warm taste of whiskey
fills a stomach freer than before
The smell lingers at each exhale to fuel the fire  
of a breath’s subtle aching for forgiveness
Conversation now lacks substance
Words slur actions to violently attack
without awareness to rule direction
I felt who hurt you, looking back on it

Heavy eyes spoke language to
disease the mourning of our losses
with something to be permanent,
but not entirely forgotten

Your heart bleeds an intensity
of the darkest hour you could find
Separation furthers an inevitable exit
we both cannot control alone

He falls to his knees uneasy
The fall is an alarming salute,
a goodbye that cannot be understood,
a commitment I failed to believe

Across the room, I watch you
I try and tend to the plans you’ve made,
but I am weaker than you had been

The damage pierces my ribcage
It catches me off guard as it moves through
Starvation vows to carry in its place
to feed the body empty noise
I hear silence engage lost attention
An aftermath of memories led astray
to make believe the truth

I wore the flaws love wounded on skin
The scars gave weight to my appearance
to comfort a lack of confidence

Distance understood what was yesterday,
would not be tomorrow

Existing only to heal the unknown
We should of watched time,
return us to what we knew

Some say it's thicker than tar,
Others say it tastes like turpentine,
To the first I'd say that rumor is stretched too far,
And to the second I'd say it tastes quite fine.

As long as you do it right.

I'll even give you the recipe:
- A *** of water
- Coffee grounds (1/2 cup-3/4 cups)
-A non-tattered boot sock (it'll take a little while to find a good one)

Step 1: Pour coffee grounds into sock and tie it off.
Step 2: Bring *** of water to a rolling boil
Step 3: Steep sock and leave it in ***.
Step 4: Remove *** from heat source.
Step 5: Wait 5 minutes then serve.

That's it,
That's all there is to it,
The magic behind it all,
Add or subtract time as preferred,
Cheaper then a coffee machine,
Once the right sock is found.

It is an odd thing to learn,
So off the wall and profound.

Are you brave enough to try?

you drank it all.
alone.

even though there's nothing left
in the bottle,
it is you that feels empty,
transparent,
frail,
like an eggshell that your mother found
in the chicken that your father killed,
that didn't have the chance of the frying pan at least.

you drank it all.
alone.
no Juliet around,
no Shakespeare
no talent,
no tale.

you drank it all.
alone.
no strippers,
no angels,
no thieves!

you drank it all.

some may call it
messianic delusion syndrome,
but I call it..
cheap Chardonnay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbz9rIxZJBw

You're always sure that my cup is full
but it never overflows.
I try to absorb what excess there is
so that I can hand it back to you,
quench your thirst straight from my palms
when you feel empty.

i like the color red your eyes turn
and how it just slightly different from the red of your face
i like the way you slur your words
"i'm drunk off you, you know"
i like the way my accent thickens 
so you have to pull me close to your face to understand me
i like the way you fumble to grab my hand
and then press my fingers to your lips 
i like the awful way you try to growl your 'r's 
"i'm french like you, oui oui"
i like the way you look when you can't find your lighter
and the slight disappointment in your eyes
when i light your cigarette for you
i like the way you quote poetry
like it was written for you to mutter drunkly
i like the way you appreciate things
"the stars, why don't we always look at them?"
i like the way you look
when you're trying to concentrate on the conversation
i like the way you look
when you catch me staring at you
"it's like i see you for the first time all over again,
your stare is so cold but so inviting"
i like the way you're drunk

Your eyes like pools of the clearest water beckon me,
beg me to drink from them.
With each blink,
their color grows warmer,
smoother, more welcoming.
I move closer, toeing the edge of your abyss,
heeding no warnings of eternal falling with the miss of a step.
The swirls of blue mirror the sky
on the most beautiful day,
mesmerizing me, hypnotizing me,
easily fooling me into stepping in
without testing the depth of your water.
My blind faith does not lead me to drown.
Instead,
your waters surround me,
wrapping me in warmth and keeping me afloat.
Each blink is a wave rocking me steady,
rhythmically, peacefully,
matching my own heartbeat,
repeating, promising an ever-continuing symphony,
a lullaby
that claims an end to my nightmares.

Put down your bottle
Drink some fresh air
You can't conjure hell
If you're already there
Stop sipping confidence
This ichor wears out
It empties anxieties
Then fills you with doubt.