Like a blank canvass I entered her life.

Like a set of pastel crayons she coloured mine:

She taught me how to live, she taught me how to smile;

She taught me how to lie;

She taught me how to dream.

And in the end, she taught me how to cry.
PS. Ahe also taught me that if you hold a remote close to your head and press the button, the remote will work.
If you want to see a girl leave you;

Tell her she's beautiful.
Tell her she's perfect.

If that doesn't work -

Tell her you love her
This is true. I honestly will call ballshit if you disagree.
Part I

[1/21, 23:37]

Will a day come where I no longer need to run, from the fears entrapped in my mind?

Can I just decide to leave them behind? Is  the choice even mine to make? Or is this a designated - haunting - punishment by fate?

Whatever the answer
I can't run any faster from the shadows that swallow my mind.

They follow my moves every step of the way - am I a fool for even trying to get away?

This game of hide and seek
I don't know how to play -
wherever I hide they seem to find and no matter how much I seek I feel   I n c o m p l e t e.

Will there be an extinction of this sorrow? Or will they be here tomorrow? Waking me with a pressure on my chest.

I promised I'd try my best...

I just don't know how to break out from this intricate mess - Each day I feel -
less and less.

Until the only thing left is this
                on my chest.

But I will still run and fight off the fear of tonight - my stength slowly drying.

They say every cloud has a silver lining? I hope they're right because my precious mind Is slowly

D y i n g.

Part II

I square up with my worthy opponent because I'm not dead yet.

I feel the fear in my eyes
    And I see it in his.

But who on earth wins when it's
                 me vs me?

The one that leaves me
        perfectly free

-All I'm trying to do-

Is free myself from me.
I don't sleep. I dream with my eyes open. It's safer that way.
  Nov 2017 ABeautifullMind
he said/begged,
make love to me just like a woman!

kiss me toe to head, linger on my neck,
trace my waist, begin at my lips, pause at my hips,
quibbles intersperse, quips and licks on eyelids,
nibble me, near me, close and closer yet
unto the glorious victorious near death experience...

whisper me sweet everythings
before during after and over again,
when you must pause to exhale, blow all their warmth
upon thy fingers and bring that warmth inside

me with tongue and eyes,
take me slow then again,
even slower, for thy pleasure,
than execute summary judgement upon me

falsely accept, then deny, deny, deny
my every appeal to
oh my ***
for anyone's mercy!

adjudge me then guilty yet again,
and to the tower take me
to drown in mine own lashing lamentations,
thy incontrovertible evidence,
mine own uncensored revelations
execute me twice,
slowly, goodly with lengthy and lovely measures

she said,  and so I shall, eventually,
do what you beseech, what you most excellently seek

but you may recall, somewhat earlier, I called out
so you must start my dear by following
all the precise driving instructions you just stated,
and bring your GPS^, and, oh yes,
I'm waiting...

too wit and sod this!
he gruffingly huffingly, hurrumphingly, replied,
all **** and damnation,
treat me like a woman just once pity-please!"

can't can't can't -
she be-witchingly cackled!

then sang to me the lyrical words of a
Nobel Prize winner!

You fake just like a woman
Yes you do, you make love like a woman
Yes you do, and then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little boy
^GPS is a permanently attached male guidance system.
The P does nots stand for Positioning.
ABeautifullMind Nov 2017
As I light my cigarette,
I remember the cause
for my addiction for self sabotage


In the same way that I cannot kick this habit
When my lungs exhale and the smoke floats away

the memories of You always stay.

Sabotaging me in its own violent but beautiful way...

© John Paul Fraser
Lighting my cigarette just ignites the reason I started.
  Aug 2017 ABeautifullMind
Here's to the writers—

You have the power to paint words
Into beautiful art—
To be able to touch a soul—
To touch one's heart

You can make the stormy sky blue—
Stop the waves from crashing to the shore
You can make all the withered flowers bloom—
Turn winter into summer, a glimpse of gold

You can make someone's dark day colorful—
Gather hope to put in between your words
Make them feel that they are understood—
That they aren't alone in this cruel world

You can mend someone's broken heart—
Put love in between your lines
Let them know that they are enough—
That being hurt is just a part of life

We can make a whole new perspective—
We can create a world of our own
And no, we don't speak only for ourselves—
But also for all the lost souls

—Thalia Bautista; Just keep writing
For all the writers out there ❤️
  Aug 2017 ABeautifullMind
I haven't felt at home since then
Since I've woken up
No dream can last
All nights must pass
And rise again

But my realization hasn't changed
The way things are or could've been

Look back and see the same old day
Not as it was, but as it is

No amount of time can change the fact
Or the truth therein

That we are searching, ever searched
Alive within for but a short time
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