I don't need another friend.
I just need for this dread to end.
Because you can only feel
Impending doom for so long
Before doom comes for you.

I have been buzzing around meaningless
Day after day, week after week
It’s still here
Fog in the form of sand trapped in my brain
Static is too dull a word to describe it
**** this
I have nothing else to sort through
The exhaustion is worthless even though I still have it
And I’ve been screaming for so long
But because I am paralyzed
Because I gripped my own throat for too long
Only dust comes out when my mouth unhinges

I’m still impatiently waiting for happiness to come and clean me up
Spark spark spark
I clench my fingers into my side
It feels like dirt in between my nails
I’ve been blown out like a candle
And like ash I float away

I wanted to carry your burdens with me
and show you the joy of this world
that you no longer believed in.
how could I forget your sweet words?
and oh my heart ached
the silence filled with dread
"oh god, please don't be dead."

Ill awakening
I rise to meet this cruel day
and drag myself on

Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead

I dread those moments
when infatuation begins
to be commitment.

When a wanting to
be together turns into
an obligation.

whoa, I can’t be
“your”  girl - I’m not looking
to belong to you.

What commands my heart
- who knows? But it can't be
kept - pressed like a rose.

Is a girl ******
if she won’t commit to
a relationship?

agos ng galit
bulusok ng dugo
hininga ay damdamin
karugtong ng puso
sumasabog
kaakbay ng ngitngit
na kumakawala
lumalantad kahit pigilin
hindi kayang limutin
dahil taglay nito ay
walang kaparis na
kati para isambulat
habol ang hininga
nakangiwi
nakatanga
nakanganga