Fall is here
With it comes colour
Hallowe'en
and dread

Not dread from having to rake
Not dread because another year slipped away
Not dread because the kids are back to school
Dread because Christmas is coming

Dread because you haven't taken down the lights
Dread because you haven't checked the lights

Dread because you haven't got your cards ready to send
Dread because you need to update address lists
Dread because you're hosting dinner and aren't ready
Dread because you don't know who is bringing what
Dread because you can't trust everyone to bring the right stuff

Dread because you haven't got sizes for everyone for gifts
Dread because you need paper, and ribbons and bows
Dread because the 3 spirits haven't visited yet
Dread because you haven't been to buy the spirits yet
Dread because you don't know how big a bird to get
Dread because you don't know if it should be goose or turkey
Dread because your son is bringing his vegetarian "friend"
Dread because you don't know if the "friend" is male or female and you've met twice already


Dread because your'e not ready for Christmas
and it's ONLY SEPTEMBER 3 !!!

Oh, dread dread dread Drella dread
All I do is dread
This climate’s ******
Dread dread dread
I must only dread
And dread only for the human

My ancestors can scream
They, being right in doing so
Are stroked and adored
Everybody dreads in shades of blue
What can I be if I dread too?
The idea is sore, oh so sore

Dread dread dread
This era dreads and is dreaded
I see life, I don’t taste it
Dread dread dread
All we may do is dread
Nothing to be said

But words of the fed
The led
The wed
The dead
Dread

-The wasp cared for the stranger

And the stranger for the ‘bee’

The stranger brought her marigolds

And the wasp brings her honey

The stranger sought for another life

But the wasp she could never keep

Never did they realize

The wasp was not a bee-



Three Dimensions of an Unwanted Soul

     Three Stages of Existential Dread



Perpetual-Purgatory Dread

Omnipresent-Inferno Dread

Transient-Paradiso Dread



Purgatory:



The Glasgow Subway of The Five-Dimensional Man



The Perpetual Existential Dread:



When you are lost in love
Your soul ages quicker than you grow old
Don't you see those living bodies with
Dead Souls
Trying to reap what was never sown



For the five dimensional man
Time is like the Glasgow Subway
He'll be aging forwards and backwards
To get to Hillhead you can't skip Buchanan Street
To get to the good times you can't skip the sad ones
And there's always going to be more bitter than sweet
But there's no end for the five dimensional man
There's no end to the Glasgow subway


He bought a typewriter down Byres Road
Learned to write South of Houston, Prince Street

The love was foreshadowed in Pandrossou Market
And he bargained and lost it on Main Street


The traveler travels through all of time and space
When you live infinitely, you'll remember every name
But when between dreaming and losing is your place
Even the immortal would lose his faith
He would give up the universe for one true love's grace
But perhaps it's easier to fall into the six dimensional ways
If infinite number of him existed in an instant with every trace
No happiness, no sorrow, no loss, no heart breaks
He'll gladly welcome the end of his days


There is a space time gateway 3000 light years away
For the end of solitude he'll endure this 30 lifetime race
He just wants to feel the comfort of a senseless place
And to fill his aching heart with empty loveless space
When nothing's ever gone, despair will vanish without a trace
Could this be the fate of the hapless five dimensional fool
Eternally without love, and another soul to his name





Inferno:



The Glass Elevator of The Six-Dimensional World



The Omnipresent Existential Dread:



They exist endlessly, they exist infinitely

I can see every trace of love

Wherever I want to be

Yet

This must be the undiscovered country

Where all travelers will return

The wasp found the stranger

Though neither of them ever left

This is the place of everything

Except, longing, heartbreak and dread



The Five-Dimensional Man has arrived

And in the happiest moments he’ll land

Here is the universe where nothing will ever end

Nothing ever passes

Nothing ever comes

All of existence in a single jump of the second hand



He looked through the looking glass

And shattered into a million six dimensional man

Each consciousness in one perpetual moment

Where he'll never experience anything else

Happiness or otherwise except

The Omnipresent existential dread of the

Six Dimensional Land




At the Gate of Paradise/Paradiso



The Walk of Life of A Fourth Dimensional Man



The Momentary/Fleeting Dread:



A piece of the trillion trillion six dimensional man

Floated near the wormhole from whence he came

When he crossed from the Five Dimensional Land

Though the new place in which he arrived had a beginning and an end



Since he is only a fragment, he fits in well with the rest of the men

Here, it is our own familiar landscape

My fourth dimensional friends

Where our protagonist finally found paradise

Or the nearest world before the sweet hereafter fence

He was born, he loved and lost, dreamt with regret

And finally passed on through the light

Leaving behind only ashes, dust and sand

Who knew all he craved was never infinite eternity on his Earth

But merely the end

Of his endless dread under the stars

Ever before the Promised Land

How deep does the dread go?
As deep as the fear goes
How far does the fear go?
Much deeper than the shadow

With a pick and torch light
Find the gem that will shine bright
May be day in this sun blight
In the dread it is midnight

Keep the flames burning ember
For the chill of December
For the hope to remember
For the dread to dismember

Only light burns the dread fear
Only light makes the path clear
When the light sparks the dread jeers
When the gem gleams the dread veers

Who knows where the gem grows?
In the hollow of the shadows
In the dark where the dread goes
In a place only hope knows

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

Unfathomable dread
is etched deeply in my bones
An invincible rope
Strangles my dry throat
I struggle for breath,
but I am soon to remember I was never alive

Is it normal?
To feel so livid yet numb?
Is it right?
To feel this way?
I believe I don't care what they do
But somehow at night I feel dread
This dread carries with it the plans
Of how to end it.

Slowly I stand up
Determined to never feel this dread again
But how, I wonder.
This dread has always been with me
It hurts and lacerates me
But can I ever learn to go on without it?
More like do I want to go without it?
It may be the only thing
keeping me from complete lunacy.

My DNA has grown to like the feeling
And maybe now it's my antidote.
This pain that tears me so
May be just what I need
They may throw me stones
But I've been through worse
This dread is my brutal sidekick.
With this dread at my side
I will fight through this hell
Until the fated day that we fall
I shall stare down at my foes
They will run, for my dread and I have become one.
As one we stand, As one we will fall.

I dread the day I accept loss.
I dread the day I can sleep without crying.
my eyes and heart have gotten used to months of tears.
Each one a reminder of you.
I dread the day I don’t drive past the little church.
By the school on the hill.
I dread the day I forget.

My blanket of sadness and guilt
has become a familiar comfort;
tear stained memories, a broken heart
are better than none of you.
I dread the day I forget.

I dread the day I can’t remember
the curls in your hair.
That nike jacket you’d religiously wear,
The small details
I can attempt to capture with my poems
but
nothing about you was simple enough
to describe with a pen and paper .
I dread the day I let go.
I dread opening a new page.

Dread is what I feel when I force conversation to escape my lips

Dread is what I hear when I hear your voice, or any memory you narrate in my head

Dread is what I taste when I taste sugarless coffee, bitter and desolate, always how you liked it.

Dread is what I see, when my minds eye looks back into the nights I held you near. It's what I see, when I see your half dead eyes faking joy.

Dread is what I smell when I get into my car and smell a cigarette or a perfume that resembles yours.

My life is nothing but dread. Every night is a funeral and every morning a death.

But there's still Breathe, so most would say I'm alive. It's as if they forgot our nature and what it is to strive.

My senses shackle me to this cross, which faces a movie screen of terrors. I watch and cry, continually suffering with widows and beggars.

Shut it off, I wish I could, you see, but another fear that holds life dear, Will not set me free.

It's as if my brain holds my chain and dangles above the key. It won't let me out, with the painful doubt that I will cease to be.

But it doesn't add up, this is what I want?  An expensive life, a beautiful wife, something I can flaunt.

The hypocrisy, is like this democracy which binds us to despair.

You used to stand by and cover my eyes, give me a rest from the pain, but my wounded flesh and my horror cries left you with disdain.

So then you left, what did I expect? The world shackled you not, so I'll just remain up here, shackled with fear, watching this eternal plot.