There's alway this glass, this screen, this wall
I can still feel the call
Fearful of the fall

Still I fight on, trying to break through
As bearers grew
I act the fool
With myself always in a dual

So no matter who wins
I will remain penned
I will remain dead
For my soul holds nothing but dread

You dont understand me!! You dont and can't see!!
Just how deep the darkness dwells
Just how much the pain it swells
How very little else is left How very scary it is for myself
I know how hard it is to simply live with me
I know it won't take long before l have to set you free You'll be one more scar
one more pain
You'll be one more thing
Yes everyday life seems a little darker
Yes everyday to live through it gets a little harder Sometimes I get lost in the swirl
Sometimes everything becomes a blur
This feeling of already being dead
This feeling of nothingness is filling me with dread.

I woke today
In the usual way
Alarms blaring
Clock uncaring
Sleep fleeting
Sun greeting
Eye's blinking
Minutes ticking

Yes everything was the same, the normal routine
But I could feel that cold clutch of something unseen
Today might be different plight
There's something not quite right
Apprehension over me rolled
Something in the wind had gone cold
It's making my soul shiver
Like being submerge in a cold river

Clock ticking
Thoughts thickening
Eyes darting
Fear starting
Breath catching
Life injecting
Uncertainty
I woke today
In the usual way
To find the day
In decay

It is when I lie defensless
That I reach the top - the peak
Of the only pleasant feeling.
It is that of my beautiful nightly affairs
That I do so crave each second I breathe

But as I stir
Waking to a morning
Quite the same as the rest
I chase the faint flicker
Of my sweet midnight endeavors

I struggle to cling
To the faint fading feeling
Of such wanderlust
Such joy
Red hair that I was enamored with

When I have opened my eyes in full
And let the sorrows of today
Tomorrow
And yesterday sink in
The memories skitter away forever

And I'm left to haul another day
Scraping the rugged mountainside
Overlooking the pain of collected rubble
Shoving its way under my fingernails
To reach the sweet escape

On the very top once again

I dread the day,
The moment when
I take his hand.
And wish it was yours.
I have nightmares about
His kiss on my forehead,
My fake, plastered smile
Because of what's wrong.
Something forgotten, and lost, and replaced.  
And my guilt that I feel as
I remember.
How I let time slip
Through my fingers.
And I'll look up at his face,
Into his dear, kind eyes,
And my heart will scream.
Because my life will have become a song with a missing a verse.

oral transmission
Modulate - Cognate- Division
Cosmic - tuned in like Cognitive Transmission

This is my mission, to

Get up out the scene Live wild as a child
Dread my head, Hear cries like the Roar  I lionize
Deviant be me, othered for free
as the Nomos creates Signifier, Signified
somewhat like a homeless child stigmatized
caught outside our commercial enterprise

but

With enterprise, there enters lies,
Never earthbound my star ship seems to Actualize
Melodically.

So let me lyrically **** your path so you can shift past the cuts
Neva drinking the wine of wrath, made sour by sour patch cats blasted by vats OF GRAFFITI splats.

Culture slipping like gangsters simply sipping at the purple incision
instead we walk Holy like the cotton we missin

Tattoo my Secrets onto skin parchment ,
thats Ink advice ---:  People Lost in Duality, man thats just thinkin twice
Surrender and self-Sacrifice be the admission price
to see Kali singing blood mantras dancing through

Dreams of Ink darshan doorways
Tantric like Siva Approaches his consort for foreplay

My face is like a thundercloud, smiles formed outta cloud highs
Now my 3rd eye, washed in blood saw how Snakes stitch DNA
up and winding
and lemme tell you bro,
its some Nauesous stuff

Transcendent reality,
ego death till its fallacy,
recognize perfection
of life in the galaxy

So I toss out my ID, puff puff, its high ME
don't be Stuck like Ego grinding, Just saving souls don’t mind we,
go Indigo like Love in the margins, Golden souls attempting to live in holy gardens, ==========

We forget though

Neither death or immortality existed in the time before time,  of day or night no sign

There was Darkness hidden by Darkness , all was water but got started quick, by the sharpness of a god spark

kick crash hit, life spit out covered in emptiness

This was it, started from the bottom, rise in the power of heat,
dance tap ta dis beat Aware tapas generates so much heat Indiscreet
in abyss

But then desire became the fire, middle ground never higher than the smoke trails of the world's creation,
Spittin om proir flash forward funeral flames tamed by Tandava siva purifier

So this poet seeks in the heart of wisdom found in the bond of existence to non-existence
Knowledge that  I’m a livewire with a high resistance
I Complete my **** Through high persistence,

Eventually though,
the Fog rolls in again , agnosia forget the Cosmic condition
till then We soulfeed lyrics in-between kissing.

I get hurt I don't mind.                       She gets hurt I don't care,
     You get hurt I worry a lot a lot
         Because I care,
      I never want to see you hurt,
   From all her drama and turmoils,
You still don't realise that its me who
         Cares.

      She's driven you through hell,
        Some little publicity and all.
   Silly little drama that could have pushed me way but still I stood with  
             My sobering heart
        Waiting for my chance to  
                   Comfort           
             You after her dread
  And heal your wounds from her
          Sharp swords.                               

It is my endless love that makes me
                          Care
Yet I don't mind that you are never
             Going to love me.

Those crimson pools of dread,
Slowly filling up my chest.
Utterly confused and utterly alone,
Am I a young child in a war zone?

Hanging condescendingly above the door
She stared at the stern cuckoo clock
The minute hand silently creeping
Urging the hour hand to its destination
The second hand an evil judge
Its ticking a constant reminder
Of time’s inevitable march forward
And the journey that lay ahead of her
She wasn’t sure which one she hated more
She knew that when the small figurines
Emerged from their dark hiding place
To waltz their waltz
As they did every hour of every day
She would have to leave
And she didn’t know when she would return
And so as much as she hated the clock
It’s jolly song a mockery of her decision
She knew that ultimately leaving was her choice
And that she would miss the **** cuckoo clock
Hanging condescendingly above the door