I travel from room to room
Searching through the Saturday rush,
the Downtown Bars.

A beautiful brunette, with a twinkle
In her eyes, held me, just a gaze,
Gentle, understanding, knowing.

It was all swell, we rejoiced,
In sugar words, with silver tongues
Though, now she's lost in the crowd.

My journey through sweat, lust and *****,
Takes me here and there
Places of eerie recollections, an ominous familiarity.

Some far different from the rest,
All the while feeling like home, but rotten
This is a dream, or a nightmare.

These are not doors, I walk within the past.
Searching for a girl, not wanting to be found.
So I lay her to rest, closing the door behind me.

I wonder what it takes to go full circle
and find my way back home to You?
Although I might be as slow as a turtle
Your love will guide me when I am true.

I’ll finish up then as I began being a child of Yours
having knocked on so many of life’s secret doors.
But even though I have yet to find all the right answers
at this stage of my life there have been some advances.

My feelings towards You now seem to have changed
but this shouldn’t be a reason for us to feel estranged.
Love’s the universal magnet that draws everything close together
we shouldn’t mind too much if we pass through stormy weather.

In a world of constant change there are many upheavals
but love often does get stronger when there’s a retrieval.
It’s something of a realisation by which we come to know
that as love completes a full circle perfection it will show.

How long will it take to go full circle
to find my way back home with You?
It seems I'm just as slow as a turtle
But is Love guiding me and am I true?
_______

If I pop this little pill I'll be able to get all my work done. Am I opening a door? One I cannot close? Walk with me as we venture through this together.

Writing is my therapy.
I find it far easier to write
Away my demons into chains
Than to let their free verse reign.

I dare not sit in that chair
To face the things near or far
The cold and the heavy
The antiques of my persistent soul.

Though in time, when farther I succumb
Perhaps, I'll find that existential door,
One which takes me to the place, I need
To restore whats so lost within.

And true, I write the walls which hold me,
But better a prisoner of my own making,
Then be held hostage by an unstable mind.
Control, power, hold on, until you can't.

Come to me and knock on my door
I'll open it without hesitation
Love me truly, I will not ask for more
I promise you'll never be an option.

if god doesn't let you through
his doors then maybe you'll
make your own little heaven
- find me there

Their is no sort of hell for the trip we took
I bloodied my knuckles and stabbed myself
You cried your eyes to your knees  
You've erupted into a flowing river of hate
I stand by your door and hopelessly wait
For you to realize i STILL love you.
My cold being is in transition
The icy crater I create in fear of monsters
Yet you erupt and I slide back down my hole
Escaping your roar and claws
Reaching for the only thing I have left
I hold myself and calmly say "this is a nightmare".
I do not sleep in peace
I assume your position hovers above me
I assume you can weaken my defenses
Unlock my door with a glance
I fall asleep in fear that the monsters will release themselves,
That angry beast summons itself and destroys us both.