Prelude to a Dark Abyss
Confined to a degenerate affliction
Murmurs of a dark lamentation
Constricted to a cursed animation
Profound oblivion profound desperation
Am trapped in a tormenting accusation
Beyond the scope of my realization
Am lost in contemplation
To battle my inner demon which is my addiction
To nefarious substances my affliction

Realm of the Spirits tormenting my temple
A deficiency of character my fleshly attraction
To succumb to this feeling of exportation
A blissful ecstasy when am lost in this transition
Of a trance in my mind removing my compulsion
To use Methamphetamine a hell of a curse
Short lived the duration of this wonderous fascination
Euphoric Sensations demanding utilization
My comprehension stuck between ecstatic sensations
I given it my all ...my Life to be ruled under this potent stimulation
Under a spell of catastrophic devastation...I said to myself I will piece my Life back thru abstaining from the worldly temptations

Dope will NOT win this battle I said to myself...A ******'s curse has ended with my final salutation. Thou shall NOT sin against thy Temple no longer sayest the Lord...end quotation.

it really does
not
matter if you try
it only
truly
matter s
what people
see

I can do anything
I want to do.
But I don't have
to do the things
I need not do or
Don't have to do.
But I will do the things
I should do and must do.

Nobody,
No, nobody,
Nobody, nobody, nobody. ...
Ever, ever,  ever, loves me,
Frustrated, tears swelling in my eyes I cried out.
I do, I do, I do,........
Yes! Yes! Yes! I truly do.....
I heard a sweet, firm voice from the doorway,
I do, I do, I do, I really love you,
I love you more, and more, and more everyday mum!
Exclaimed my four year old son,
running towards me,
Hugging me tightly,
Draining all bitterness within me.
10/11/2019
...

When these words turn to songs and symphonies
and you're just a mental stain
you'll regret the way you treated me
and all the things you've said
I'm destined to do it big
and even if I don't
I deserve better and I'll get it, cutthroat

do you see it in me?
I don't care if you do
I've wasted so many days
wondering about you

so I'll close my laptop shut
and hustle through the night
I never believed in me
I never felt quite right

but the pain can be channeled in ways you don't realize
and the gain through it all will be my pretty prize

Let it flow, direct it, connect it, project it
don't let anyone else's opinion affect it
you're perfect, you're worth it, rebirth it
trade nothing on this planet earth for it
and then give it all back to the world, return it
got a bad thought? do what you can to deter it

You're meant for more than you're willing to tell
make sure you take care of yourself
only shower in hot water and affection
stop hanging yourself
on unreturned attention
if you're unsure about someone
focus on you for awhile
and when you're feeling at your lowest
force a brilliant smile
it will get better
as long as you leave bed
emotionally dead
but steady getting ahead

I don't have time for petty pursuits
And you've taught me that most people don't tell the truth
so my course of action
is the opposite of you

I'm so done with praising others
raising them above
with my love
a surrogate mother
the umbilical cord rots
knots block off outside approval
I've got the tools of the trade
for an at home removal

Don’t weep at my grave...
  Am not there, at the grave....
      But there, with the love and care,
         who made me brave.

Am not there, in the shining stars...
  But will shine there,
      in the caring hearts.

Am there, with the challenges
  and unconditional love...
    As I never, allowed
        to give up while alive.

Don’t let your tears roll down..
As I ever, will be
    in the thousand smiles.

Don’t weep at my grave...
Am always there,
    as an inspiring wave.