You coulda just said no
Instead of leaving me in limbo.
If you're too scared, say it.
I'll make sure I leave the door closed.

It's easy to write,
Difficult to edit.
Especially When the tale is mine.

You must love me because nothing else makes sense
Kind words you say rarely sneak past my defense
Yet you patiently compliment me daily
Even on days I am ungrateful or crazy
Sometimes feel like I treat you unfair
Or think I would prefer not having you there
I wish I didn't care about you so much
Reacting angrily when you revoke your touch
You reflect the same doting affection
Your pupils are reluctant to gaze my direction
So do not pretend that after all these years you still feel the same
Don't know when or how or what exactly-but something's changed
Because it's obvious you love me by the way you tell me and how you act
No one else would have stayed this long and that's a fact
And it brings so much shame to watch your sad face stick around
Hold on out of concern for the love to which it's bound
But when begged to do what's right for you and go far away
You never fail to find an even better reason to stay
I push you away from me in fear one of us will get hurt
Scared getting close is pointless cause we'll never work
And right when I'm about to pass the point where it's too late
I turn around realizing I'm making a mistake
Again and again the cycle repeats
You never surrender or admit defeat
I need to accept your love isn't fading
No matter how much I deserve degrading
Not one single thing I've done to prove he depths of my attraction
You are alright giving me your whole focus when you only get a fraction
Why can't I provide the security you need?
Used to be able to do anything for you to succeed
Now I have lost all motivation and hope
Remembering how I once was able to control stifled rage and cope
I can be cold and often don't play fair
More than anything I am grateful to have you there
Sometimes get mad at you when it's not your fault
Assumptions spark a critical verbal assault
When angry "I love you" is so hard to say
We are best friends but it doesn't always feel that way
Lately feel excluded from your present life
Can't wait to be free of your soon-to-be-ex-wife
To wake from the nightmare I accidentally created
Eyes opening to a day where I am just someone you dated
A morning where love hasn't got you wrapped in chains
Not obligated to handle my pains
Maybe that Dawn will arrive; hopefully not
I will do my best and our happy ending I will plot
I'll make you proud, we will finally be
The happy family so unfamiliar to me
Please be patient my love, soon we will laugh and smile
Life is so ****** up right now, you make it more worthwhile
Believing your words though difficult to hear
Because if you didn't love me you wouldn't be here

There are no perfect goodbyes
As hard as may try
We can plan them
Imagine them
But there are no perfect goodbyes

This clearly is not working
Why do we still try?
Only make things harder for you
Seeing that makes me cry

We are no longer right for eachother
Never can we agree
I cannot accept the fact
We are not meant to be

I do not know why I can't let go
Hands impossible to persuade
Maybe it is not you I'm attached to
But the memories made

The best moments of my life
You were by my side
It seems like whatever we had back then
Somewhere and somehow died

Now there is not a day that goes by
Without an explosive fight with you
Nothing I do is enough to make
You show your love like I want you to

I do not blame you for hating me
In fact I hate me twice as much
I am just mad that you lie to me
Saying you enjoy my touch

We drive eachother bonkers
Put ourselves through endless hell
Still we remain together
Why I cannot tell

Lose my judgement around you
Make the poorest decisions
My heart is chained to yours
Love has me imprisoned

I am so ******* crazy
Because I care more than I should
I have explained a billion times
Still am misunderstood

You always ask me why I'm sad
Answering that is tough
For some reason "everything"
Is not good enough

Persistently at eachothers throats
Take turns being upset
Trust issues wedged in between
Hurt by the **** we can't forget

I do not mean to degrade you
With poisoned words I say
I take anger out on
Anything in my way

I'm not sure how to let you know
How magnificent you really are
I would carve your name into my heart if you
Had not of already left that scar

Not one thing I am able to give
Is deemed worthy of your praise
You deserve a person who is happy
Not part of the time-but always

You seem so relaxed around others
No distress weighing you down
So many eggshells in my proximity
You do not walk on them-you drown

Has it ever occurred to you
That is what I hate the most?
The expression of fear worn when I lunge
Towards you like you've seen a ghost

It kills me knowing I'm responsible
For reluctance in your kiss
I bring bruises and blood to your world
When all I want to bestow is bliss

It isn't that you do me wrong
Failing to convey your devotion
I simply need support when I lose myself
To overwhelming emotion

You tolerate more than you should have to
I apologize if I've made things worse
By now should have learned my presence
Is not a blessing but a curse

I am not familiar with the strangers
That more and more these days I see
I miss back when we didn't try
When loving eachother was just..
..Easy