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Jun 7
You must love me because nothing else makes sense
Kind words you say rarely sneak past my defense
Yet you patiently compliment me daily
Even on days I am ungrateful or crazy
Sometimes feel like I treat you unfair
Or think I would prefer not having you there
I wish I didn't care about you so much
Reacting angrily when you revoke your touch
You reflect the same doting affection
Your pupils are reluctant to gaze my direction
So do not pretend that after all these years you still feel the same
Don't know when or how or what exactly-but something's changed
Because it's obvious you love me by the way you tell me and how you act
No one else would have stayed this long and that's a fact
And it brings so much shame to watch your sad face stick around
Hold on out of concern for the love to which it's bound
But when begged to do what's right for you and go far away
You never fail to find an even better reason to stay
I push you away from me in fear one of us will get hurt
Scared getting close is pointless cause we'll never work
And right when I'm about to pass the point where it's too late
I turn around realizing I'm making a mistake
Again and again the cycle repeats
You never surrender or admit defeat
I need to accept your love isn't fading
No matter how much I deserve degrading
Not one single thing I've done to prove he depths of my attraction
You are alright giving me your whole focus when you only get a fraction
Why can't I provide the security you need?
Used to be able to do anything for you to succeed
Now I have lost all motivation and hope
Remembering how I once was able to control stifled rage and cope
I can be cold and often don't play fair
More than anything I am grateful to have you there
Sometimes get mad at you when it's not your fault
Assumptions spark a critical verbal assault
When angry "I love you" is so hard to say
We are best friends but it doesn't always feel that way
Lately feel excluded from your present life
Can't wait to be free of your soon-to-be-ex-wife
To wake from the nightmare I accidentally created
Eyes opening to a day where I am just someone you dated
A morning where love hasn't got you wrapped in chains
Not obligated to handle my pains
Maybe that Dawn will arrive; hopefully not
I will do my best and our happy ending I will plot
I'll make you proud, we will finally be
The happy family so unfamiliar to me
Please be patient my love, soon we will laugh and smile
Life is so ****** up right now, you make it more worthwhile
Believing your words though difficult to hear
Because if you didn't love me you wouldn't be here
Sorry for the length I should have put a warning
Amanda
Written by
Amanda  23/F/Alaska
(23/F/Alaska)   
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