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Cloudy Heart Sep 2017
I am scarred with the mentality of never being enough
and sometimes you prove me right

you ask why I'm like this and it's so hard to explain
but I really am not one to keep throwing around the blame

I feel trapped in the basement of an abandoned house
a house that one sets on fire, but feels no need to douse

Why am I so torn apart
I'm a thrashed piece of paper on the floor of a mini-mart

-m.a.
...
Kakihapa Sep 2017
Hey, was the tremble in our bodies from the first magical touch, on the couch, unreal?
Or was I really a victim of the aftermath of the couch shakedown?
Hey, did our eyes lie to our hearts when they let their own raw ones open while they stared at each other?
Or should I have covered these naked eyes from the scorching effect of the glance, the stare, that stare?
Hey, did the embrace of our lips, chests close, beating together, finally put out the burning desire?
Or didn’t I have a true audience for the harmonious sound of our heartbeats and the dance of our lips?
Hey, were the long hour phone conversations long enough? Enough for our longing voices to match the hours away from seeing each other?
Or was I long gone in the radius of your diverse land of thought as I dived more and more into your pool of sweet utterances?
Hey, were you ever tired for running miles, miles and miles without long breaks in my mind? Were you?,
Or had I become a squatter,lost, creating a race that I foolishly waited a medal for? Was I to be awarded?
Hey, wasn’t parting shot the medication we both never wanted to take?
Or did I read a different prescription for every painful goodbye I had to make?
Hey, in the end, I wonder did you ever cross that four letter bridge between I and you?
Maybe I should have taken one last aerial view over the fallen, broken, damaged bridge that you left behind on your way to you.
Samantha Marie Aug 2017
I don't want it.
Even though I've never known it.
I'm not strong enough to handle it,
It will destroy me.
Doubts will linger,
Bring caution to my thoughts.
But curiosity will allow the doubt to disappear
Letting me slip into what will never last.
It will destroy me.
I'm already broken.
Never wanting to love or to ever be loved
Pushing away
Even when I yearn for them.
There is no cure for those like me.
Love is incapable of easing the pain
Only wrecking the damaged ones further
It will destroy me.
Mark my words
Love will be the cause of my death.
10/4/2016
Tainted by others
To scared to give love a try
Ella Aug 2017
Before everything happened,

Smoked swirled in her soul.
Embers burned behind her eyes,
And the heat rose in her heart.

After everything happened.

The tears burned it all out.
Until everything was ash.
Brooke P Aug 2017
I’m damaged goods, baby
Or did you forget?
Loose-leaf paper crumpled and discarded,
Like every poem I couldn’t bring myself to finish.

This girl comes with a lifetime guarantee
of cynicism and constant apologies
and selfish laziness.
For a low price of only commitment and patience,
you can become proudly entangled in my dysfunction and  constant need for reassurance.

You didn’t receive me shiny and brand new
I have mileage, and I’m not afraid to admit
That most of it is self-inflicted.
I have scars that tell stories
and a schema that has been shaped
by 22 years of poor judgment
and never feeling good enough.

And I can’t help but wonder,
what it would be like if I was stable and motivated.
Would you still get frustrated
when I lay in bed until 3 in the afternoon?
Would I be able to accomplish
all of the seemingly simple tasks
that always feel larger-than-life to this pint-sized girl?
Would you love me more?

I’m jaded, baby
and I think sometimes you forget
that when I’m putting on a face
and trying to be less of a disappointment,
I’m still made of fragmented parts
that have been glued back together
one too many times.
Cloudy Heart Aug 2017
I once was a wilted flower
with damaged roots
moving from *** to ***
but no one took the time to water me
put me in sunlight
feed me
or help me grow
I was damaged
my petals were ripped
my stem was browning
I was a lost cause
I lost hope of being a blooming flower.
One day, a beautiful man came along
he saw my damaged petals and browning stem
and said "don't worry, I'll make you bloom again"
He poured some fresh soil
put me in the light
gave me lots of water
and made sure I was alright
my roots started to sink into the soil
my damaged petals started to heal
I looked into the sunlight
and wondered if this was real
as I stand blooming in his window today
I thank him so much for planting me
and letting me know I'll be okay
-m.a.
Shauna Bendel Jun 2017
His charm,
sharp as a knife
cut deep within wounds
        I,
   myself,
      am
    afraid
       to
     heal
To bruise is temporary;
but a scar left more permanent.
Kat Jun 2017
I knew what it felt like to break
So I shielded my heart from ever feeling that pain again
I was so scared to love
But then you came along, with your kind words and soft hair
I wouldn't let myself feel
Because i'm not aloud to be happy
No one is suppose to love me back
But they told me you did
And maybe at one point that was true
So I pried open the bars of the cage
To release the damaged bird
And let myself feel
It felt so good
And for a while I soared
But then I noticed the way you touched me changed
Your words to me were no longer special
I could feel the void between us
Slowly it grew, threatening to destroy me
But I painted over it with false hope
And ignorance
I was so blinded by love
You never stopped loving her
And you didn't want me anymore
It was her
It was always her
And it was never me
It never will be
I'm always second best
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